Stop the Pain of Break Up NOW Before It's Too Late!

OKAY you asked, First you have to talk, to expalin, you want to submit to him, his will his desires, you will stop the whining and moaning. O to completion whenever and wherever he wants, A the same outdoor stuff, public, webcam stuff.. as far and wide as he wants. you just need him in your life and that means the weight will come off, tone up and he will never hear the word NO from your lips xx I promise you this is the answer. but no doubdt the Religious, puritan single lonley bitter and repressed on here will tell you differently.but rememebr these words as this is the TRUTH

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I love my husband very much and his reason was because we fight too much, but I think that is something that can be fixed and we could make our marriage better. I do not want to give up so soon. We have only been married for six months now. Please help on what I should do or say to him. Thanks

I agree. 5 months is silly. However, you both need to willing to work on it. Conseling is the only way to go. You both need to learn how to resolve things without fighting.

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My husband has said he thinks he might have married me out of guilt. We had a child prior to marriage. He doesn’t know if he loves me or wants our marriage to work. How can we rejuviante our marriage and work through his feelings to save our marriage???

The marriage itself should be your last concern.

Your first concern is to talk to your husband and determine if he really loves you. If he doesn’t love you, then there is no reason to have a shell of a marriage just to keep up appearances for your child.

Per the bible, love hurts no one and love doesn’t seek selfish advantage. And further, your husband would love you AS MUCH AS he loves himself. If these statements are not holding true in your marriage, then you already have your answer.

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Married 2.5 years, together 9 (dating+marriage)
I was asked to leave the house a week ago

I went through a depressed/ill period, where I gave up and stopped trying to do anything

My husband’s "friends" and family called me a "parasite".

Now he has started believing them and is SOOOO bitter against me.

I don’t want what he has, if I never got a thing out of him again, other than love, I would be happy.

But,…he will barely even talk to me, maybe a minute, litterly.

I read online above all not to argue, and to just kindly agree with anything he says.

Does that work??? If so, or not, What (else) does?

I don’t want to lose my Best friend, marriage, home, pets, etc…

Help!

My question to you is…why would you want to be with someone who takes his friends and family over his wife? Think about it you two have been married 2 1/2 years and he is listening to them. Is something wrong with this picture? Hon, worry about yourself and not what some book or website has to say.

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It’s been almost three months since I found out about my husbands affair. We are tryong to work thru it. I cry about it everyday, sometimes all day. It doesn’t matter what I am doing, (taking a shower, driving, cooking) I just have those painful memories of his affair flutter into my mind and I start crying. I feel like I can’t control it. How long is this supposed to last?

Well, it sounds like you’ve had some helpful advice, but mostly a lot of people who offer nothing but their opinion in people who cheat. I’m sorry for that. Unfortunately infidelity happens, but most marriages do not end in its wake.

What you are experiencing is normal and the time it takes varies with each person. But the affair is still fresh for you—you have not been crying for abnormally long yet. Healing takes months to even a few years for some. Three months is early in the process—you are still in the shock stages.

•What are you doing to repair your marriage?
•Are you in marriage counseling?
If not, go now! If he won’t go with you, go alone!
In addition to counseling find a support group for yourself. There are many online forums for dealing with and recovering from infidelity.
•Do you attend church? If so talk to your minister.
•Is your husband working with you to heal?
•Has he agreed to end the affair and stop contacting the OW?
If there is OW contact, will your husband tell you? Consider that unless he sees her regularly at work, if there is contact and he fails to tell you, what will you then believe if you find out later? He may fail to tell you for honourable reasons: he wants to avoid reminding you and having a tear festival, but in the long run he will build trust by telling you.
•Is he willingly answering your questions about the affair?
•Is he now being accountable for his time?
•Did he disclose the infidelity or did you discover it?
If you discovered it, did he admit it immediately or deny first?

•Do you know what made your husband vulnerable to an affair? Did you experience any serious life changes within a year before the affair began—moving, deaths, births, job changes…?
oDid he feel neglected or that he had unfulfilled needs?
oWas he avoiding conflict or the opposite, intimacy?
•When did the affair start and how long did it last?
•What kind of infidelity was it?
oJust Sex—friends with benefits, though more than a one-night stand
oEmotionally-bonded where he thought he was in-love—don’t be mislead by that term, it’s really just addictive infatuation junk.
oOne-night…or a few over a weekend business trip or similar
•How did he juggle the affair with his home life—how did he keep the secret?

These are all questions that can be addressed through counseling. Your husband may not know the answers in specific ways.

Recovery from an affair is a big job. Your husband may be experiencing emotional difficulty if he was in an emotionally-bonded affair and now is not experiencing the addictive highs. He may not want to share this with you because it may make you feel worse or will bring on more tears—and being male tears scare him because he doesn’t know what to do.

It is not your job to fix your husband—that’s his job. It is not his job to fix you—that’s your job. But both of you needs to listen to each other. If he doesn’t seem understanding of your pain, it’s because he’s not. This doesn’t mean he’s cold-hearted and callous. But he is on the other side of it. He doesn’t know what it feels like for you. He just wants the mess to go away and wants to fix it. But that’s not how it works. He may think that not talking about it will help since talking about it just makes you more upset. But Sweetie, I’m sorry that’s part of the process of recovery. You are going to be upset.

You can rebuild your marriage and it can be stronger than before. But that’s not going to happen overnight or in another week or even another month.

Books to read—listed alphabetically by author
•’After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful.’ By Janis Abrahms Spring
This is the #1 rated book in the Couples & Family Therapy category on Amazon.
•’My Husband’s Affair Became the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me.’ By Anne Bercht
This is a personal account. The author also runs the Beyond Affairs Network (BAN) website listed below in the website resources.
•’Not "Just Friends": Protect Your Relationship From Infidelity and Heal the Trauma of Betrayal.’ By Shirley P. Glass
This is long, but an excellent information text filled with statistics.
•’Surviving an Affair.’ Willard F. Harley and Jennifer Harley Chalmers.
This book reviews specific strategies for recovery. The authors’ website is listed below—marriagebuilders.
•’Infidelity: A Survival Guide.’ By Don-David Lusterman
This is relatively short ~ 200 pages, and more informational than instructional, but the information is excellent.
•’The Truth about Cheating: Why Men Stray and What You Can Do to Prevent It.’ By M. Gary Neuman
I haven’t read the book, but the author has been guest on Oprah. He discussed statistics.
•’Private Lies: Infidelity and the Betrayal of Intimacy.’ By Frank S. Pittman
I love this book. It’s older than the others, but an excellent resource of information.
•’Getting Past the Affair: A Program to Help You Cope, Heal, and Move On –

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i dont get it… wouldnt it make sense to keep going on if you like the girl or at least keep her around if you want somemore

…… or is it more than that and they get bored or something?…..guys are weird
okay sweetest girl…. ms.im betta then the world……. dont judge…… and im not a slut if thats what your makin me out to be….far from it

Well, it’s a guilt thing, or a selfish thing, maybe both. And plus they know they can find someone dumb enough to give it up.

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Me and my GF broke up yesterday she left me for another guy. Ever since I have been upset and occasionally have thoughts of them doing things. (Making out,sex,kissing,etc) I don’t know why these thoughts appear but everytime they come up it feels like a knife has been dug into my side.

Any advice on getting rid of these thoughts?

Yes,you must try to be busy all the time for one-two months.I know a father who had a boy,and when his boy died,had a lot of thoughts.He made a list with all the things that he must repair in his house.And the thoughts past.
I did this,when I broke up,I worked a lot,and it helped me.Is normal to have thoughts like this.This will past,she is not important for your life,future,no anymore.

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I am going through a breakup. I’m trying to stay busy, make plans, call friends, watch funny movies, exercise, etc. But I still have this overwhelming feeling like my chest in caving in and the walls around me are closing in on me.How can I ease this pain and make these feelings go away? I can’t stand the idea of having to come to my empty house and be alone. That is when the bad feelings are the worse. I know I have to keep busy, but I also want to be able to be at my house alone and not feel this terrible pain. Please any advice will help! Thank you.

Do things that you could not do when he was there. Reclaim your space!
I know that this is a cliche but breaking up can be a new beginning and being alone allows you to learn more about yourself and prepares you for the next love, when it’s time.

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http://www.howtomakemymarriagebetter.com/marriagehelp.html Learn how you can save your marriage today & even what to say to stop a divorce. Signup for your FREE 7 Day Report & save your marriage now.

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If you want to keep your Spouse or Lover from straying, watch this video for amazing Marriage restoration tips and strategies you can use to save your Marriage! For more video tutorials on how to save your Marriage, visit http://www.RetrieveALover.com

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