Stop the Pain of Break Up NOW Before It's Too Late!

my friend has a date this weekend and she thinks her b/f wants to make out with her. and she thinks she sucks (and has never done it before). how can she learn before her date?

Part of the fun of life is to figure it out. If she and her b/f are ready to make out, then she doesn’t need to learn to do it before hand. She just needs to do what comes natural and not feel ashamed to talk about it with her b/f. If she can be honest and keep the communication open with him. They’ll figure out what works best for them. Sucking or not sucking, good or not good, changes alot between different couples.

Just reassure her – she’ll be fine!

Technorati Tags: date, girl, learn, relationship

My husband has said he thinks he might have married me out of guilt. We had a child prior to marriage. He doesn’t know if he loves me or wants our marriage to work. How can we rejuviante our marriage and work through his feelings to save our marriage???

The marriage itself should be your last concern.

Your first concern is to talk to your husband and determine if he really loves you. If he doesn’t love you, then there is no reason to have a shell of a marriage just to keep up appearances for your child.

Per the bible, love hurts no one and love doesn’t seek selfish advantage. And further, your husband would love you AS MUCH AS he loves himself. If these statements are not holding true in your marriage, then you already have your answer.

Technorati Tags: divorce, marriage, rejuvinate, relationship, save, stop

My girlfriend was recently in an abusive relationship that she came out of about 4 months ago. She hides her emotions (which was caused by her abuser), and I am not sure what to do about it. She says she does not want to talk about it cause it makes her cry, but I can’t help but say something whenever I see some of her scars or when I can tell she is not feeling good emotionally.

How to help her? Take it very slow and keep the pressure low.
Let her know that you think she’s worth the time and effort.
Be gentle with her, always.
Encourage her to seek help to deal with the past hurts.
Let her know she has your friendship, even if she can’t offer you anything more at this time.
Give her time to heal, time to grow in trust.
Be there for her, but don’t smother her.
Unlike the first poster, I don’t think she’s a lost cause. Thank you for caring enough to ask how you can help her.

Technorati Tags: abusive, girl, left, relationship

I just got out of an abusive relationship, but I still find myself missing him. Especially at night. I cannot handle nights very well at all. I get so lonely that I can’t sleep and don’t know what to do. I don’t want to end up going back again or too depressed to move. HELP!

I completely understand you. I was in the same position. The only relief I found was going out more- however hard that was for me. I didn’t really start feeling better till I started dating again. If you need to talk about it- email me.

Technorati Tags: abusive, hard, relationship

How do you get out of an abusive relationship when your partner is threatening murder and other drastic measures? And more importantly, how do you convince someone to actually take these measures?

I’ve never been in this situation but what I would do personally is save my money own money, figure out a full proof plan, try to catch him on tape or cell phone saying this things or have a witness present and then go to the police. It’s not safe to stay in that type of relationship and even though he might talk about murder you could die by staying and being abused. If I had distant family that he was un aware of then I would just plan to stay with them and start a new life. It’s such a hard situation but leaving is the best thing to do!! Make sure you have good support and remember, you only have one life!! You deserve to be happy!!

Technorati Tags: abusive, leave, relationship

i have a boyfriend who is much stronger then i am and uses that to his advantage. he will hit me non stop till i have either passed out or beg him to stop till my voice is raw. he will not let me move out of his home and says i have to stay there with him for as long as he wants…how do i get out?

Go to the police and tell them what is happening, get a restraining order and have the police escort you to the house to get your stuff, do it now before it’s to late, I see so many woman stay and get killed, I’ll pray for you, be brave and go tell someone, they’ll help you…God bless

Technorati Tags: abusive, relationship

I am currently in an abusive relationship. The abuse is emotionally, verbally, and sometimes pyhsically. It started about 8 months ago and weve been together for over a year. I love him with all my heart but im scarred to death of him at the same time. He calls me names, grabs me, shakes me, yells at me, he even puts me out of our home with no where to go, no phone to call anyone to come get me. Once he put me out because i spilled juice on the floor, while in just a tshirt, no money, no phone, no socks or shoes, no where to go, in the middles of winter. He has pinned me down on the floor and held a knife to me, even cut my hair with it because i didnt want to sleep with him. Ive tried leaving and he lets me but with nothing i own not even my purse. i always come back becausei have no family to stay with for long term and i have no friends because of him. he promises me he would change and does for the first day or 2 but its always the same. I am now 8 months pregnant with his child
he hasnt physically abuse me since ive been pregnant but the name calling and putting me down, calling me fat and ugly, has gotten worse. I cry myself to sleep almost everynight for the last 6 months and he tells my i act like a child. I just dont know what to do anymore, i want him to change, i want to be happy and i want him to be happy with me but nothing i ever do is good enough. He told me he didnt want me to work well i was pregnant which at first i said no but then he said we were moving so i had to quit my job and being so far along no one will hire me. so i get yelled at because im so lazy. i just need help. if anyone is in a similar situation or was in one please help my find the strength to leave him for good!
he hasnt physically abuse me since ive been pregnant but the name calling and putting me down, calling me fat and ugly, has gotten worse. I cry myself to sleep almost everynight for the last 6 months and he tells my i act like a child. I just dont know what to do anymore, i want him to change, i want to be happy and i want him to be happy with me but nothing i ever do is good enough. He told me he didnt want me to work well i was pregnant which at first i said no but then he said we were moving so i had to quit my job and being so far along no one will hire me. so i get yelled at because im so lazy. i just need help. if anyone is in a similar situation or was in one please help my find the strength to leave him for good!

There are numerous shelters that can and will help you when you are really ready to leave. If you dont leave very soon, it could escalate into something more serious. The next step he will take is to hit you in the stomach to try to hurt the baby. Is this what you want? I am serious. You need to leave quickly. While he is at work, hide some things ata friends house or somewhere you can get to them when you leave. Most important, you have to be ready to NOT GO BACK EVER

Technorati Tags: abusive, relationship

RetrieveALover.com: It is important to stay spontaneous, you probably have heard this before, but it is very true. Life can sometimes fall into routines. You wake up, go to work, come home, eat, watch television and go to bed. Instead of doing the same thing every day, try to make little plans every couple of days and two weekends out of the month to start.

Duration : 5 min 17 sec

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I’ve a friend in an abusive relationship that she is afraid to leave because of her partner’s drastic threats. She’s been hospitalized, but lies. I tell her to call the cops or see a school counselor or something, but I’m having trouble convincing her. How can I get her to take some action?

And it isn’t that she doesn’t think she deserves better (not entirely, at least) but she’s scared.

She won’t leave until she’s ready. Does her family know? Do you yourself have proof. If she’s been hospitalized by him her family should know. It’s hard if you’re in school because it’s a place they are both required to go to. In that case the Principal or counselor should be notified. She more than likely didn’t tell the nurse or doctor the truth, most states require these situations (domestic abuse) be reported to the police. They start with a restraining order, then jail time. It doesn’t sound like a lot, but if the school’s informed of the situation they can help. Let her know that this IS serious, and it is NOT healthy. Let her know that you love her and you’ll be there for her. If it’s as serious as you think, you run the risk of losing your friendship by intervening. You run the risk of losing your friend if you don’t.

I had a friend in high school. Her boyfriend was possessive. When everyone was around he was the nicest guy, got along with everyone. Her parents loved him, he fixed my car. We thought she was with him way too much, she never got to have ‘girls night’. We brought her to my house for a few hours. When she got home he choked her to death. He was sentenced to five years and only served three. This was twenty years ago. Laws are much harsher now. Please don’t let this happen to your friend.

Technorati Tags: abusive, relationship

Would I need to speak with: a psychiatrist, counselor, or psycologist? I was looking under the doctors available under my insurance and I don’t know what category I would personally fall under. Thank you and God Bless.

I think you would want to speak with a counselor / therapist. From what I understand, a psychiatrist is a doctor who prescribes medication and is someone who usually just sees people with diagnosed mental / emotional conditions. A psychologist has a Ph.D (Dr.) in psychology, but is not a medical doctor, so she can’t prescribe medication.

A counselor or therapist is someone who will (hopefully) compassionately listen to you and offer you guidance. If needed, she can refer you to a psychiatrist.

It sounds like you need a hug, some validation, and someone to listen to you. I don’t know if a counselor will give you a hug…but she should be able to do the other two!

My only real knowledge of this comes from a hs psychology course, so I can’t say for certain that I’m right, but……I think I am.

Another idea you might want to consider would be taking an assertiveness training class. My best friend’s mom took one when her husband (bf’s stepdad) was a manipulative and emotionally abusive jerk, and she gained so much strength from taking the class. It was truly amazing to see her go from being this meek, petite little soccer mom to someone bold. My bf really admired her courage.

Just writing this post is a courageous 1st step. I wish you well on the ones you’ll be taking next.

May God bless YOU.

Psalms 18:16-19

Technorati Tags: abusive, emotional, extremely, relationship, stressed, verbal