Stop the Pain of Break Up NOW Before It's Too Late!

I need help dealing with my 3 1/2 year relationship ending. I love my ex boyfriend, Brandon very much. He transferred to a state university and the same day that he moved into his apartment he decided that it was time to end our relationship. He said it was too stressful (which it really can be). I’m devastated because he usual speaks highly of our relationship and tells me that we will get married when we are finished with college. Now just like a flip of a switch he wants out and wants to meet other people and "enjoy his life". I honestly didn’t see this coming and didn’t realize I was preventing him in any way from enjoying life. I really wanted to be with him for the rest of my life, now I don’t have him at all. I’m extremely depressed, constantly crying whenever I’m not occupying myself. I’ve been out with my friends and have met new people and school started but its still not enough. I feel like a mental case that needs a psychiatrist before I do something harmful to myself. I know may others deal with long relationships ending, if you have any positive advise I would really like to hear it.

I have been in your situation, as I’m sure many others have. I think that’s what helped me get through things, is realizing that it’s something we all go through at one point or another. I think it brought a lot of clarity for me to be aware and understand that we’ve all been hurt, and that if others can endure and overcome such situations, so can I. I know that it’s terribly daunting, and I don’t wish these feelings on anyone. I also felt like I couldn’t think straight after breaking up with the person who I loved immensely. But eventually, I was able to start putting myself and my happiness first, instead of constantly questioning why I couldn’t help to keep things together.

I think it would be helpful for you to think about who he is now rather than who he was when you guys were together. He is obviously not in a place to be in a relationship and has opted to put himself before you. There is no way you would want to remain in that kind of relationship, where someone doesn’t think about your well-being before his. Hopefully, that makes sense to you.

The decision he’s made is ultimately a selfish one. And if you keep that in mind, you’ll realize how important it is to keep true to yourself and eventually you will come across someone who can truly appreciate a relationship with you. Also, you never know, perhaps you guys will resume your relationship later down the line, once time has passed and you both realize what you still mean to each other. Be strong, confident in yourself, and also optimistic for whatever may come. I wish the best for you!

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