Stop the Pain of Break Up NOW Before It's Too Late!

Were you happy with your decision to keep your marriage and not to go through with the divorce or did you regret not going through with it? I am just curious and not asking this because I need help in deciding what to do in my life. I’ve made my decision and am very sure that it is the right one. We both love each other so much and now we both know that and we are very committed to our marriage and to each other.
You missed the question, Mickey. I was asking how many people had called off a divorce to save their marriage and if they were happy. I am not asking for advice. I guess this more like a survey question.
So, kkelly, has this happened to you? I don’t know why some people don’t answer the question as it is put. I wasn’t asking for people’s opinions, advice or vague generalizations, but if you had actually done this and how it turned out for you, or someone you know.

We had some trouble 35 yrs ago. We went to counseling and put the marriage back together stronger than it ever was. W also learned skills that we still use. I can’t imagine life without her. Am sooooo glad we worked to save the marriage. And it was work.

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My wife and I have be married for about a year and a half. We’ve had alot of problems during that time. We broken up with each other too many times. It has taken me losing her to relize that she was the best thing that ever happened to me. I’ve tried everything I know to try and win her back. But she dosn’et belive anyhign I tell her. I didn’t treat her like I should have, she tried so hard to make it work for us. I didn’t hit her but I know I made her hurt with the stuff I would say to her. But now I really want to make this work. But she has already started the papperwork for divorceing me. I haven’t been served yet, but I know its coming soon. I really don’t want this divorce. I want to contest it, but I don’t know if that would do any good. What are my options if I do, if I contest ,can I ask the judge to order some kind of counselor to help us with our problems. Or is there anything else I can do to try and save our marriage. Thanks for any advice

Jack, you can not force someone to stay married to you if they no longer wish to be. It sounds like you are at the point of no return with this relationship, and you will just have to accept the fact that it’s over. It also sounds like the two of you are miserable together, and would fare much better without each other. It is a shame that it took you this long to realize what you had when it’s too late to do anything about it, but it is the way that things went for you both. If papers are filed, and you are served, contesting has no point to it. It will be a waste of time and emotions and money. Cut your losses short, let the two of you heal and go on with your lives. You really were not meant for each other. I am sorry if this sounds unkind, but it’s truth. Don’t lie to yourself, let it go, learn from your mistakes, and don’t repeat them. Hope this helps.

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OKAY you asked, First you have to talk, to expalin, you want to submit to him, his will his desires, you will stop the whining and moaning. O to completion whenever and wherever he wants, A the same outdoor stuff, public, webcam stuff.. as far and wide as he wants. you just need him in your life and that means the weight will come off, tone up and he will never hear the word NO from your lips xx I promise you this is the answer. but no doubdt the Religious, puritan single lonley bitter and repressed on here will tell you differently.but rememebr these words as this is the TRUTH

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I love my husband very much and his reason was because we fight too much, but I think that is something that can be fixed and we could make our marriage better. I do not want to give up so soon. We have only been married for six months now. Please help on what I should do or say to him. Thanks

I agree. 5 months is silly. However, you both need to willing to work on it. Conseling is the only way to go. You both need to learn how to resolve things without fighting.

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15 days staying together after marriage on november 30th 2008, my wife is now staying at her house citing the reasons that I dont love her and didnt had sex with her and even not kissed her atleast once. Its true because I behaved like that because of some misunderstandings which i came to know later. Now, she is asking for divorce and planning to file petition but I want to save the marriage. She told me that she will prove that she is virgin even after staying together 15days after marriage.
Is it true that the court will allow divorce on being vergin or not having sex for 15 days after marriage? If she says in court that I’m not able for sex, is there any procedure to prove my ability? If I’m against mutual divorce and really want to save marriage, what procedures should I follow legally? How long will it take her to get divorce if she is not going to change her mind?

Firstly engage a sensible lawyer to guide you rightly for matrimonial law in India. Secondly the you both cannot for the general rule apply for divorce even by mutual consent within first year of marriage unless there exist an exceptional case of hardship or depravity,which doesn’t seems in your case. As far not indulging in sex for fifteen days is no big issue for making it a case of mental cruelty of depriving of the sexual bliss as a married spouse & causing breaking of the matrimonial home. The none consummation of marriage can be claimed for annulment of marriage as a ground if there has been wilful refusal or the impotency of the respondent in this case the husband. You don’t seems to be impotent medically or otherwise but due to circumstances & misunderstanding could not attain penal erection for sexual intercourse,this is only a temporary phase which doesn’t amount to complete incurable impotency,hence cannot be made a ground for annulment of the marriage on this ground. Your wife need marriage counselling not from a marriage counsellor only but even a sensible lawyer who will make her understand the legal issues involved in the marriage which she seems to be not well informed so engage one good lawyer to do this work for you & don’t forget to pay his consultancy fee.

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If you have a flat tire on your car, you don’t say, "I want to get rid of it." No, you fix the tire or have it fixed. Don’t say anything about ending your relationship. Fix it.

If you are getting stale on your sex life, take time to be together, talk to each other. Reminisce about your young love. Go on a vacation. Maybe it will be just an overnight stay at a motel, but don’t let your work bog you down. Companionship is important for a healthy marriage.

Start to save your marriage NOW. Don’t look back and pick up the negative. Forget the sour times; don’t remind the spouse of past faults.

Begin today to add sweetness in your married life. Be positive.

Why do you fight? All couples have disagreements. Talk over the difference and you will discover the argument was minor. Learn to be silent when you differ.

Don’t let your grievances linger; get it over with. Don’t have a fight before other people or your children. Never hit your mate. Be honest and understanding.

Jealousy has lead many a couple to the divorce court.

Show your companion respect and affection. As one person said, "Be sure it is your wife/husband you’re in love with, not yourself." So many married couples love themselves more than they love their partner.

Every day say to her or him, "I love you." And put meaning from the heart into those words.

Hope this helps~

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i’ve been married for 4 years, we have a 3 yr old and he cheated on me when i was pregnant. i stayed, he denied anything going on even though it was obvious because there were witnesses. anyway i stayed for our child sake and i wish i would of left then but here i am thinking i can make this work.. his never helped with taking care of our daughter. since day 1 i did everything, yea i know he works but so do i and he always uses the excuse " you know how to deal with it better". in the beginning he was controling and abusive, i also looked passed that to give my marriage a chance, he thinks his the smartest and i should ask him before doing anything as he would be very helpful, i feel like his more like the dad i never had than my husband. he make a lot of decissions without consuting wiht me, but i i do something without talking to him first he flips. so now 3 years later im sick of it, i care for him but there is no love there. i’ve been thinking about a divorce.. i also started talking to this guy online and his just so supportive and respective, he knows his place.. we have met once and he was such a genleman, never said or did anything to incfluence anything on me. i really like him and he likes me. we keep intouch daily and honestly the only thing i look forward everyday is talking to him… talking to him or being around him never seems to bore me but whenever my husband is home i wanna just shoot myself after 30 min wiht him,…i need help as too what to do.. and stop talking to the new guy is not gona help my marriage because i feel like it fel apart way before i started talking to this guy and were nothing but close friends for now.. what my heart tells me right now is end this loveless marriage and move on and find someone that will treat me better.. i also brought up the divorce to my husnabd and he threatens to take our child away since he works and im in school.. does he have a chnace, i mean his abusive, doesnt really know how to take care of her and has no support.. im in school but i have a lot of support from my family..
first of all i dont think grammar makes a difference here and my husnand works in a restaurant while im getting my BA in Finace thnx jimmy… and im going to school with my own money, no need to use him for anything, the only reason has been my daughter..
ohh the sad part is that my family doesnt believe in divorce even though its hell living this way.. i know they would do anything to help with my daughter but they will also hate me for ending my marriage…

Its a tough spot. If he is abusive you will have to prove it. And you will need to be able to support your child independently to have custody. But if you are being abused you should never ever stay. You don’t deserve to live this way, and you don’t want your daughter growing up seeing it. If she does she will think it is normal, and may spend her whole life affected by it. You should turn to an abused women’s shelter. Look it up online, I don’t know where you live, but they are everywhere. They will give you a place to stay for yourself and your child, and give you counseling and advice. they can set you up with good divorce lawyers who do pro bono work.

one thing to keep in mind, keep your relationship with your online friend to a minimum for the time being. While I know its comforting to have someone there for you any time you need it, someone who validates you and raises your self efficacy, if your husband can prove you have been cheating he will make out very well in a divorce, even if he has cheated in the past.

Keep records and proof of abuse. If its verbal tape it, physical get pictures, go to the hospital if he ever hits you and it leave a mark.

and as soon as you get in touch with a shelter, get out. You deserve a better life.

Technorati Tags: divorce, marriage, save

My husband has said he thinks he might have married me out of guilt. We had a child prior to marriage. He doesn’t know if he loves me or wants our marriage to work. How can we rejuviante our marriage and work through his feelings to save our marriage???

The marriage itself should be your last concern.

Your first concern is to talk to your husband and determine if he really loves you. If he doesn’t love you, then there is no reason to have a shell of a marriage just to keep up appearances for your child.

Per the bible, love hurts no one and love doesn’t seek selfish advantage. And further, your husband would love you AS MUCH AS he loves himself. If these statements are not holding true in your marriage, then you already have your answer.

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Married 2.5 years, together 9 (dating+marriage)
I was asked to leave the house a week ago

I went through a depressed/ill period, where I gave up and stopped trying to do anything

My husband’s "friends" and family called me a "parasite".

Now he has started believing them and is SOOOO bitter against me.

I don’t want what he has, if I never got a thing out of him again, other than love, I would be happy.

But,…he will barely even talk to me, maybe a minute, litterly.

I read online above all not to argue, and to just kindly agree with anything he says.

Does that work??? If so, or not, What (else) does?

I don’t want to lose my Best friend, marriage, home, pets, etc…

Help!

My question to you is…why would you want to be with someone who takes his friends and family over his wife? Think about it you two have been married 2 1/2 years and he is listening to them. Is something wrong with this picture? Hon, worry about yourself and not what some book or website has to say.

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I really don’t want to lose my husband. Does anyone have any advice? How do I get GOD to hear and answer my prayer? Thanks in advance

prayer works, but if getting your spouse back will only bring hurt to u, it won’t happen. god only answers prayers if its going to be a good thing for us.

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