Stop the Pain of Break Up NOW Before It's Too Late!

I guess it is normal to think of the ex after break up, but how long can you tolerate that? Like, if he still keep telling you bout how she cheated on him, and showing you her emails and his emails to her……………… =’(

i think it has to do with the person and how close you were to that person.

Technorati Tags: break, long, recover

Oh my gosh!!! I was in a relationship with my "best friend" for almost 12 years.And then he decided he didnt want me in his life anymore..So the pain hurt badly and it took me almost 2 years to get over it. couldnt sleep ,eat was depressed all the time..for me it was BAD!! ..I do however think about him every now and then.but thats normal. but you do have to move on and enjoy your life.before you know it that special someone will come into your life and sweep you off your feet.

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who you know for 4 yrs now? You did everything with him, i mean everything.

u can never recover

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I’ve recently broke-up my boyfriend of three years. I don’t usually go looking for guys immediately after leaving a relationship. I like to give myself about 4 or 5 months before I’m interested in dating again.

How about you?

As soon as possible, because you never know that person you didnt give a shot to just because you werent ready might be the one! who knows!

Technorati Tags: breakup, dating, long, start

So here is what I’m dealing with. Excuse me if I jumps around and if it’s long. I’m trying to put it the best way that I know how so that you have all information to answer.

When my ex and I were still dating I came to his place the one night to ask questions about our relationship because I knew that something was up because he just wasn’t the same person a week or two earlier( He did tell me some stuff during those few weeks that were bothering him, but I knew that there had to be something more). That was when he told me that he thought that he was ready for a relationship again, but wasn’t. He said that he wasn’t in the right frame of mind to be 100 percent committed to one and that it wasn’t fair to me for me to be dragged through one…..[A brief history about him: has lived with an on-and-off ex for 3 years. Moved out a few times. Called the relationship bad. Said that he kept going back to her because he thought that he could make her change. Have more fun in life. Says that they are just friends. Has told me that they do still talk and go out for drinks. Found text messages (while we were dating)(and yes I know that that was bad) to think they could be more than just friends. I'm thinking Friends with Benifits(which really hurts me. I don't get the whole 'friends with benefits' thing, but that is a whole different issue. I just believe in morals, that's all).]

After he told me that he didn’t feel ready for a relationship I asked him if he still has feelings for me and he said ‘yes’. I asked him if he thought that there was a chance that we would get back together and he said ‘yes’. I asked him if he still had feelings for his ex(the on-off ex) and he said ‘no’. That he lost those feelings for her. When I was getting ready to leave his place we hugged for a good minute or two. A real good-hold hug. After the hug he placed my head in his hands and kissed me on the forehead. And that was that. About a month later(his work requires him to fly out week-on week-off) I came and got my things only to find that the on-off ex was there. I asked how he could do this to me and that I thought that he still had feelings for me. He said that he does have feelings for me. So then I asked him why she was there because it looked like they were back together(yeah I know. I was jumping the gun on this one. My mind thinks way too much) and he said that they were not. Practiaclly yelled it at me. Said that he couldn’t explain things right now. Then there was silence and then walked away. The following week after he got back from work we talked for about an hour on Facebook. I appologized for my part in the argument that we had when I came to get my things (first arguement that we’ve ever had. Had none while dating) Said that it was just hard to accept his answer when she was there. I told him that he really hurt me. He started telling me that he was sorry for a lot of things and was telling me how he was feeling. That it was hard for him to talk because like most men talking doesn’t come easily. So I thought things were starting to mend. Doors were opening again. A few days later his Facebook status said that he is lonely, but like anything the on-off ex comes to the rescue with a ‘when you’re lonely someone is thinking of you’ funpost. And then a few days after that he drove by my place (I live on a farm and he’s never been to my farm, but I have shown him where it is). And that was it.

It’s been 3 months since we broke up and 2 months since since we last had any conversation with each other. I have tried twice since the FB chat to open conversation. Once through a personal letter that I sent in the mail (I think that letter got to him. Did not receive it back telling me that it was not the right address. The only reason why I say I think he got it is because he still gets his mail through his on-off ex’s mailbox.Yeah, big warning sign, I know. I’ve told him that too in the letter) telling him how I’ve been feeling and that I didn’t want to pressure him into anything, but that when he was ready to talk and give me answers that I will be there. And just last week I wrote him an short email saying congratulations on the new job, best of luck. I only found that out from a post the on-off ex sent him saying congrats and how proud she was and best of luck with luv from her and her two kids(kids that are not his by the way). He deleted it the next day. I got no response from my little congrats email. Not even a thank you.

So I guess my questions are: Why the kiss on the forehead? Does he really still have feelings for his ex when he has told me otherwise? Is she a ‘Friends with Benefits’ ex? Why won’t he talk to me other than a few joke emails that he still sends ( I know that I get filtered now because I don’t get as many as when we were dating)? Is this his way of getting over me? Why delete the FB message from the on-off ex about the new job and being so proud, blah, blah, blah with luv….? Why tell me that
I do still have feelings for him.
I see that some lines got missed out. Here is what got mIs this his way of getting over me? Why delete the FB message from the on-off ex about the new job and being so proud, blah, blah, blah with luv….? Why tell me that he still has feelings for me when maybe there really isn’t? Why talk to me about marriage and kids and furniture for ‘our’ cabin while we were dating? Was he just being kind? I don’t want kind, I want the truth and if that hurts then so be it. I’ve been depressed since the break up and I’ve NEVER been this depressed before. Some days are better than others. I’m trying to move on with my life, but it is hard when the one person that I want to talk to me won’t. I live in a small town and have no friends around. I pretty much get up, go to work and come home. I cry often. Sometimes to sleep. My work has suffered since the break up. Can’t concentrate. I do talk to friends on-line but it’s not the same as having someone right there with you.
I think that I would be able to move on if he would only talk to me and tell me the truth. That if he doesn’t have feelings for me and is back with the on-off ex then tell me. I would be furious with him for leading me on, but would see that he doesn’t want me in his life and would move on. I need closure and feel like I’m not getting that because I’m not getting any answers. Answers to which I think that I deserve. Is it wrong of me to think that? Sometimes people say that sometimes it’s better to not know and just leave things as is. But I say how can you find closure if you don’t know? It has been said that absence makes the heart grow fonder. It is also said that out of sight is out of mind. How can those two be reconciled? Which one is right? Which one is wrong? My mind is going a mile a minute with all these different scenarios of what he could be doing when he’s home or thinking and I know that this is a killer for me and I shouldn’t be doing it.
I wish that my mind would just stop. I’m just confused and so alone. Could he just be as confused and alone as I am and is scared to talk?

Yes. It’s clear you still have feelings for him.

When you first began to notice changes in him- – - that was AFTERthe tide turned in his life – - – whatever it may have been.

That he felt compelled to tell you that he didn’t think it was fair fo you (yada-yada), was his attempt to back out of the relationship gracefully.

The kiss on the forehead was another indicator from him that the relationship had diminished to a less-than-intimate status.

It sounds like on-off ex offers him something strong enough to pull him back, again & again.

It also sounds like on-off ex offers something strong enough to make him leave, again & again.

It sounds like this guy may several issues of his own.

I am inclined to believe that YOU were a commercial between quarters of the big game.

When love ends, it always seems to be final. As in, "that was the love of my life; without that person, I am nothing; that person was PERFCT for me; NO ONE will have the things that person had to offer; I will NEVER meet anyone like that again; I am DOOMED to be loveless for the rest of my life."

Seek out men who WANT to be with you: like the old saying "turn it free: if it likes you enough, it’ll come back. . ."

Ensure that the men in whom you are interested are available physically & emotionally- – -otherwise you are torturing yourself and wasting time.

Right now, you need to focus on taking care of yourself & respecting yourself.

Locate your strengths and work to your strengths: you will gain confidence through your success and with confidence, you will attract the attention of other men.

Learn to savor your lonely life- – - it is peaceful, it is quiet, you are free. . . it may be VERY DEPRESSING at first, but if I can do it- – - anyone can do it.

Contact me if I have struck a chord or if you just care to vent, okay?

I know misery. Misery knows me. Misery and I are best friends.
———————————————————————————

I am worried about you. . .

As I said, I have been there – - -EXACTLY where you are.

My pain was practically intolerable- – -very nearly so.

Please read my short story:

I was divorced after 20 years with no good answers as to why THAT went sour (bad enough), but then: I rebounded into a relationship with a girl who told me EVERYTHING I wanted to hear. Love, Future, Plans for this & that etc etc etc. She turned out to be an alcoholic. . . I had NO IDEA just how miserable life could be. Now I know. I am free & sane. Generally happy, trying to understand that I am NOT lonely.
It is hard.

Coming out of the divorce— my ex got all the friends. I have always been a loyal loner: best friend=spouse & maybe one ofr two others IF THERE IS TIME. I live in a HUGE metropolitan area. Everyone works alot and has no time.

So, EXACTLY like you, I found myself alarmingly alone at a time shortly after my mother father & grandmother had died.

I felt very abandoned and VERY lonely.

That is my story.

To help myself, I try to help others.

Your mind will go a thousand miles a minute.
You will try very hard to make sense of it all.
You will be very depressed and alienated.
You will lose sleep.
You will cry.

You may never find closure. . .

Once you realize that frustration and self-torture you are living through, you WILL BEGIN to accept the futility of it all.

Once you begin to accept that you will never understand your pain, you will s l o w l y find peace.

I read a book that helped me very much- – - "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle. He lives in Vancouver, BC.

This is roughly Tolle’s approach. (I am WAY oversimplifying it.)

Ask yourself how you are feeling.
If you are feel ing good, just check in again later.

If you are feeling bad, identify the cause:
=> Is there anything YOU can do to stop the bad feeling?
===> If ‘yes’: take action and make the bad feeling stop.
===> If there is nothing YOU can do to stop the bad feeling,
======> You can choose to either:
==========> Live with the bad feeling & its impact on you,
==========> Or, just acknowledge to yourself that this bad feeling is real and it is making you feel really bad. Since it is out of your control, there is nothing you can do about it BUT accept it.

By repeatedly asking yourself how you are feeling at that precise moment, you will eventually come to accept this bad feeling.

(Understand that one of the reasons you feel bad, is that there is SO MUCH about the situation that you don’t know & CANNOT ACCEPT!!!! )

So, Tolle’s approach is to focus on your FEELINGS. If you cannot stop the bad feelings by taking action, you can only a) choose to live with the misery, or, b) acknowledge the feeling and gradually accept it. . .

Again, I am extremely worried about you.

I feel certain that I can offer you solace.

Do not hesitate to contact me.

Technorati Tags: break, closure, find, long, relationship

He says he is not in love with her or having sex with her,
saving money to leave, and can’t wait to spend the rest of
his life with me.
But he is really doing nothing to make it happen and he won’t move in with me.

It could possibly be a financial reason why hes not leaving. There could be many reasons. Yes its true he might never leave his wife but you should give him somewhat of a chance. But you really don’t know if you don’t put yourself out there. Give him time. He might not be moving in with you because hes just getting to know you. Moving in is a big step. But it will be much better once he leaves his wife. But its all in what you feel. Go with your gut instinct not what hes telling you. Whatever you think is what you should go with. But I have to say you can’t expect to have any type of relationship if you don’t make yourself somewhat vulnerable.

Plus if hes married and he cheats on her with you before a divorce than he would be liable to pay his wife more than half of all possessions.

But you never know. You never know what people are doing or thinking.

Technorati Tags: boyfriend, leave, long, wait, wife

My girlfrind and I have been together for three years. I do love her, however we are not right for each other. We don’t fight, or argue much. The only complaints I really have is that she is a very messy person, who doesn’t clean up after herself or her son. I used to do the majority of the housework, but I just don’t care anymore. She can’t cook, clean, or do much of anything on her own. She is very co-dependant, and she doesn’t have any friends. I have tried to end it before, but she is very good about making me feel bad or feel sorry for her. I have decided to end our relationship for good this time. But I could use some advice on the best way to end a relationship with a very emotional and sensitive girl?

Well either way she will be very emotional and sensitive. Tell her the truth… that you don’t see yourself spending the rest of your life with her and that you don’t want to waste each others time any longer. Then leave it as that. Don’t say anything like "oh we can still be friends" because that will just drag it on. End it with no more communication.

Off the record…I feel kind of bad for the kid involved. I don’t know the whole situation but if her child was close to you..he might take it hard.

Technorati Tags: females, long, relationship, term, tips

Me and my boyfriend of a year and a half broke up in May
I just started talking to him again
whats the chance of us getting back together?

thanks alot )

I’ve never gotten back together with an ex. Chances are slim but it does happen that if you two get back together it will actually work.

Technorati Tags: broken, dated, ended, long, people, time

Has anyone ever gotten back together with an ex after a bad breakup or after a long time?

Yes..Remarried my first husband after 15 years of being apart.

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Has any of you waited around for your ex., and actually got back together. ?
Has any of you got back together with your ex after 6 months or longer (when the time you two split up she/he wanted nothing to do with you), and actually got back together with in time?

Is it worth the waiting (waiting on true love)?

When they wanted nothing to do with you when they split up and you thought you had lost that person for good, you actually got back together again after a long time?
Is any of this possible or has it happened to any of you?

I would love you guys to share your stories with me. And also answer my questions
Ones who have experienced this, tell me your stories.

Guys, I have dated alot and just let them go at times. This time instead of moveing on, I am going to be strong. This one is the Love of my life and I believe is my soul mate.

It hurts like Hell and Burns inside, but that is true love that is burning inside me.And I do know good things come to those who wait.

Years ago, I did try to work things out with my sons father. Second time didn’t work either.{Thank Goodness!!!} If it had I never would have met the love of my life. The man in my life now and I did split up for a year after dating for 6 years. We’ve been back together for 8 years now. It can work if it’s meant to be. Look deep in your heart and don’t listen to your head, you’ll figure out what to do. Good luck.

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