Stop the Pain of Break Up NOW Before It's Too Late!

My girlfriend was recently in an abusive relationship that she came out of about 4 months ago. She hides her emotions (which was caused by her abuser), and I am not sure what to do about it. She says she does not want to talk about it cause it makes her cry, but I can’t help but say something whenever I see some of her scars or when I can tell she is not feeling good emotionally.

How to help her? Take it very slow and keep the pressure low.
Let her know that you think she’s worth the time and effort.
Be gentle with her, always.
Encourage her to seek help to deal with the past hurts.
Let her know she has your friendship, even if she can’t offer you anything more at this time.
Give her time to heal, time to grow in trust.
Be there for her, but don’t smother her.
Unlike the first poster, I don’t think she’s a lost cause. Thank you for caring enough to ask how you can help her.

Technorati Tags: abusive, girl, left, relationship

First of all he is a drug addict who got me hooked on the same drug. He stated that he wants to quit but that the only way he can do that is by coming home and getting away from his roommate who influnces him into doing cocaine and freebase. he also promise to be helpfull around the house and be more productive in our marriage….however all i have heard in the last 9 months is words but I have not seen any actions. How do i know that i can trust him again to get clean, be productive, loving, not controling, and trust in me.

first he should be willing to prove to u he is in therapy, he should keep u updated on his progress, words are cheap, and mean nothing without action. u don’t trust him to get clean if coming back home means enough to him he will be glad to do whatever it takes to get clean and prove to u beyond a doubt hes clean and right again. u really don’t need this bad influence in your life, and it will take hard work with both parties working towards it not just one. things are probably not working out so well with the new love and all the drugs.

Technorati Tags: 6, divorce, filing, home, left, marriage, months, save

I know divorce is obviously the next step, but we have a house that we just purchased in March. Brand new. We have joint bills together. The cell phones are in his name so I gave him my cell phone back, so I have no way to communicate now. Luckily we don’t have kids. I have about $800 to my name. I do have a full-time job so that’s good. I am about to go stay at my cousin’s house until I can contact the realtor tomorrow about selling the house. I have not quite broken down yet but I know reality will hit me tomorrow. We have been married for 3 years too long. Anybody that has read my posts knows the situation. He is a liar, has cheated and he is very manipulative. He has gotten to the point to where he doesn’t want me to say ANYTHING to him about anything. When I say that I mean, if he’s going the wrong way on the freeway he doesn’t want me to correct him. Saturday, we were going to his parents and all I asked is if it would be an all day visit. He didn’t like that …
Because God forbid you say anything about his parents. He is very defensive of them and his 8 year old niece whom is TERRIBLE. He is an only child (had an adopted brother which is how he got a niece) and he is spoiled and selfish. He only sees things his way. He went off on me on Saturday because I asked him how long we’d be at the parents. Usually when we go, we spend all day and I mean all day, and often we spend the night and end up staying there all day on Sunday. I understand those are his parents, but he wouldn’t dare stay all day with my people. He’s a Jehovah’s Witness and I’m not so that was a problem. We argue all the time, but all I’ve tried to do is accommodate him. I basically kiss his *** and he has the nerve to tell me all I do is start ****. He said I need to learn how to shut the **** up and leave him alone sometimes. But when he wants me to leave him alone it’s usually when he doesn’t want to face something he’s done wrong.
Also, he was addicted to porn and didn’t bother to tell me that before we got married. I had to find out the hard way. He will sit and lie to my face about it, I mean for hours on end, and when I finally get the truth out of him (2 or 3 hours later), he is livid AT ME! If I don’t let him manipulate me, and I don’t, he will get so upset! When I left tonight, he said "You know if you leave out that door ain’t no turning back". You made the decision, not me". But every other minute he’s saying he can’t hardly stand to be around me because of how I act. Yes, I have contributed to some of the problems. But not to the degree that he has. I have never cheated, I try not to lie about anything and I really don’t lie to him. It is to the point to where I can’t tell him a bill is due. He will flip out on me for that. It’s not my fault the light bill has to be paid.

This is just the first step, you now need to cut all financially cords. Talk to your bank and about getting you own account, then you can work on the credit cards and joint bills.
Now comes the hard part, going back to the single life. But first you will have all the pain that comes with a divorce. I do think you will be better off without him in your life.
Keep you head up and I wish you the best.

Technorati Tags: Cheating, deceit, finally, husband, left, lying, manipulation, step