Stop the Pain of Break Up NOW Before It's Too Late!

I’m dating this super sensitive guy who’s 8 years older than me (I’m still in college). He’s been hurt really badly before after a 6 year relationship that ended a year ago. He’s very sweet to me, but whenever he talks about his ex he gets teary eyed and it makes me feel like he still has feelings for her. Its been over 6 months that we’ve been seeing each other, and he sends me super mixed signals as to what he wants, and says he’s afraid to get hurt again. He says it’s not about his ex, but he feels like he’s not good enough for me and has to get his life together (moneywise). I told him I dont care about that. He’s introduced me to all his friends, but some nights he wont answer his phone, and others he will, but be very short and distant. When I tried to break up with him out of frustration he begged me not to and that he really cares about me. Which melted my heart because I really care for him too. He says I’m the only girl he’s seeing, but I see no sign of commitment.

He has his ex all over his mind, heart, veins, and who knows where else (hint). It was 6 years. That is a long time, and then all when down the toilet. It is not easy to just forget. And no matter whose fault was the break up, at the end, probably not just him, bit her as well got hurt very bad. So is normal to be afraid, some people are afraid of just dating again cause they could get hurt again.

I’m not sure if he is with you because he wants to forget, or because he really felt in love with you, or for sex… or a combination of everything. And it might be a mystery for you forever, as he might never tell you, or worse; he might don’t even know it himself.

One thing is for sure, he doesn’t want to get hurt again, and he needs someone to be there for him too. And right now, you are that person. If you love him, and care for him as you said, then you have a good chance to help him. As long he is not an asshole (I don’t know that, and probably is too early for you to really know), he will appreciate what you are doing, and if he is honest and serious about how much he claims he cares about you, then you two probably have a good future.

As per my own experience, the key is to be honest with each other. Nobody is Superman, he was hurt and needs help, you can give it to him, so is only up to you to decide what you want to do with the relation. But don’t stay just because you are sorry for him, cause it will sooner or later be worse.

If you decide to be with him, then you two need to sit down, and talk, long honest talk, many times, as many as needed and even more. Make him understand how you feel, and try to understand how he feels. Things might become much better sooner than you think.

And don’t look for commitment yet, he is not ready, that is for sure. First you need to let him see that you are there really for him, and that you will not leave him. It is not easy cause you are pretty much making a commitment while he hasn’t. But that what true love is, to give without asking anything in return.

Good luck.

Technorati Tags: afraid, dating, guy, hurt, lonely, older, sex

I’ve recently broke-up my boyfriend of three years. I don’t usually go looking for guys immediately after leaving a relationship. I like to give myself about 4 or 5 months before I’m interested in dating again.

How about you?

As soon as possible, because you never know that person you didnt give a shot to just because you werent ready might be the one! who knows!

Technorati Tags: breakup, dating, long, start

Im still a basic member on two sites that i like but im a little sceptical about trust and getting to know him from just a site. How did it go for full users?

Hi there,

Online dating services is getting more and more popular in the Internet world. In fact, many people worldwide, are members of various online dating services. Statistically, there are more than 40 million singles in the U.S. alone that have tried online dating sites to find romance.

While it is a great and fun way to find friends, dates, lovers and even marriage, there is risks. There are many scammers out there, that just want to steal your money or to get your email address. In my experience they go after new members… most dating sites show when you joined.

The most common trick is the visa and ticket scam. Basically it is a scam, where a attractive female from Russia, Ukraine or African countries like Ghana and Nigeria contacts a lonely foreign man. "She" quickly falls in love with him and shortly after announcing her "deep feelings" for him "she" begins to plan her travel to meet the guy in person.

Now the money issues start. She will now ask for help to get the necessary documents like visa and passport. When the guy agrees to that, she pretends to get it and next she will ask for money to ticket and travel expenses. She sends a copy of the visa (fake, of course) and the guy really has no other choice than to send more money.

Of course they will never meet. The scam will go on as long as the guy agrees to send money to her. She will come up with all kind of stories and reasons to send more money.

I got one of the craziest stories from a scammer myself… lol. I was scammed like this the first time I joined a dating site over 5 years ago and this is my own experience. It is a little embarrassing for me to admit, but I fell for it and it cost me some money. After that I did some research and got acquainted with some scammers on purpose just to see how they work.

Here are some warning signs to be aware of:

It’s too good to be true – You just signed up on a dating site and and haven’t even finished your profile and you get email from a very attractive woman.

The woman asks for your email address or ask to you write to her private email in the first letter.

She has posted her location on her profile to be from your region, but in her letter she tells you a story about why she is in Ghana or Nigeria now…

Any person asking for money, for whatever reason – Do not send money to anybody for any reason.

Technorati Tags: dating, finding, girl, guy, Online, successful

any (safety) tips for online dating?

Use common sense and only meet once you have exchanged enough emails to make you feel comfortable. I usually emailed for a week or two, sometimes longer, depending on the person, before I met up with anyone. I also found that its MUCH safer to use site you pay for because only those who are subscribed and only those with a subscription can email you back and forth. A subscription helps add some legitimacy to them because they need a credit card to subscribe and that creates a paper trail. Pay sites also allow you to interact without ever revealing your email address, so if you want to end it, you can right away and with no way for the other party to contact you.

Technorati Tags: dating, Online, safety, tips

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I’m not doing this right now, but I’m wondering… do people go into it saying the next person has to be 100% of what I’m looking for? Or do you settle for 90%? 50%? How high do you set your expectations?

I definitely don’t think you should settle at all!
I think that the next person should have most of the qualities that I desire in a mate for me and the kids.
If there is a physical appearance that can be changed, I don’t hold that against the person. It’s really the personality and brain that matters the most as well as compatibility.
You know what your expectations are and what you can live with and what you cannot.

For me, I definitely am not going to settle. The last time I settled it bit me in the butt.

Technorati Tags: dating, divorce, start

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i am 32 years old . a single mother of two great kids a 13 years old daughter and a 11 year old son. i was i love with my husband but he did not love me and has told me many times while we were married. so i don’t know what it feels like to bo loved back. i don’t want to rush into a new spouse again because that’s what i did with my x. i want to take my time and get to know the guy first. i didn’t really get to know my x before i married him . we met in 93 got married in 94 had our first baby in 95 bought a house in 96 had our second baby in 97 and it just keeps going on from there until the divorce in 07. he just got remarried 2 months ago but moved her and her 2 kids in to my old house 2 weeks after i left and that has been really hard on my 2 kids. i got over him long ago but the kids still have a really hard time with it . i don’t want them to feel that again. i don’t want to push other people in to their lives . i asked my son what he thought about me starting to date someone. he wasn’t happy about it at all. and i am also afraid. what do i do?

Your kids are older now. I know how they feel, but they need to understand that you as their mom have needs. Tell them that no man can replace their dad, but you need to find love again. I think if you explain it to them, they might understand. Give love a chance……

Technorati Tags: dating, divorce, start

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