Stop the Pain of Break Up NOW Before It's Too Late!

If there are questions left unanswered after a break up do you need them answered in order to move on. Or do you forget about them hold your head high and not lower your self to chasing the person for answers? I opted for the second part I held my head high and moved on but I still find myself asking questions. Any words of wisdom would be appreciated.

I think the "closure" thing is over-hyped. I think even if you have the chance to ask every question you can think of, you will still end up wondering about something. Either because you can’t be sure the answers were truthful, or because the answers you get just don’t explain enough.

Many of my female friend’s seem to think "closure" is taking one last opportunity to tell the guy every little thing that ever annoyed them- very few questions get asked. They get a lot of resentment out of their system and feel better, and the guy wanders off thinking "gee whiz, I guess she really hated me"

Ultimately, I think you just have to accept that it didn’t work. Some part is probably your fault, some isn’t.

Might be nice to know about any drastic errors you made, to avoid repeating, but I guess most of us already know those without having to ask.
The real closure is all going to be from within anyway.
I doubt having a few more details about the problems will really help.

Technorati Tags: closure, move

I had so many fake friends in my life who I don’t talk to anymore. I haven’t found it in my heart to forgive them (and I don’t think I ever will, honestly.) They hurt me really bad, betrayed me and backstabbed me. I still can’t help but wonder why they treated me that way. These are girls who I never want to see again and I want to move on, but I just can’t.

What’s the best way to move on?

Being backstabbed can hurt, but the best way to react is to disassociate yourself from these people and hang with people who will impact you positively and help you move on.

Technorati Tags: closure, move

My fiance (ex fiance) left us. Just like that, pregnant, and i have a daughter with him, and MY oldest as well. He didn’t even say goodbye, didn’t let us know he was leaving or anything. I understand if he wasn’t into the relationship anymore, but he didn’t have to leave just like that. I don’t care that he left me, but the kids! It hurt… it hurts, really bad. His relatives said he went back to his hometown.
I, so badly, want to go look for him there, and ask him why he left just like that. He didn’t have to leave the way he did. He didn’t take any of his belongings, he just left with his nosey ass dad, whom by the way, is always in our business, along with the rest of his family.

What would you do if this happend to you?
Would you go and find that person to get an explanation, for closure?
Is closure something everyone NEEDS?
How do you feel about that?
I dont really want advice on what I should do, I know I should move on…the question is, should I find him, and ask for an explanation, so I can get closure, or how do you feel about "closure" in general?

I don’t think that there is ever a good way of leaving, but he could be a man, and discuss things with you about how things are going to be going forward – re children most importantly. I get the feeling his family may have something to do with it. But he is an adult, and he can make decisions himself. I would look for him, but not for closure, but to discuss the children’s future.

Technorati Tags: answer, break, closure, feel

It’s been about 2 weeks since my ex and I broke up and I have been seeking for answers this whole time. She broke things off because she felt like she needed to get done with school and couldn’t handle the pressures of a relationship at the moment. We are 21 and 22.

The first night she texted me saying how she wish it wasn’t this way and that she loves me and just wants to be with me.

However, the next few days it turns into her leaving because of me and her locking up and becoming cold and defensive. All of a sudden I see the whole "school and relationship stress" as an easy exit from me – a way she won’t feel as guilty about.

Now my problem is I don’t know how to bring this up to her without her becoming SUPER defensive. All she says is that "it is what is is. stop bugging me." Its turned into me being the reason she broke up. So I am a bit lost.

I understand she has been through a lot in life and I really haven’t so she says she doesn’t have the patience for me
to become a "man" and grow up. Even though she was happy with me and I was "everything she ever wanted in her life."

I had some growing up to do and wasn’t very experienced in the dating world and in general life but I wasn’t a complete idiot about everything. She thinks she needs more of a "man" than me but what I saw with her through the year we were together is that she is EXTREMELY hard to please. She’s never satisfied and so I need some help laying this out to her in an upfront way without causing drama.

I need to get this off my chest. She is such a defensive mean person though that I don’t know what to do. She is going to call me today to talk about things but I just am now "afraid" of being upfront with her because I know what will happen she will just shoot me down and get defensive.

I need closure in this thing and I need to get this stuff off of my chest.

She sounds alot like my ex.. I tell you from experience.. let her go.. She will become someone elses problem. You really do not need answers because it sounds like you know the answer already.. She is INSANE!! Even if she wanted to break away.. she doesn’t have to be mean or defensive.. trust me.. save your energy.. you will never win with this person no matter how hard you try or how right you are. Please listen.. I have been there… let her go!!!

Technorati Tags: break, closure, relationship

I met a wonderful guy about a month ago. I was going through a divorce with my husband and he was going thru a divorce (his wife cheated). We spoke on the phone a few times and hung out about three times. All of his friends and family know how much he wants a divorce but have asked him to wait a few months because his wife is pregnant and they didn’t want her getting upset and running off with the baby. Our relationship was very innocent. I tried not to get too close to him. His wife really hurt him by sleeping with his best friend and I didn’t want to be the rebound so we remained friends. I kept my distance. And I’ve never let him think I cared much about him even though I did. When I found myself becoming more and more attached to him, I’d pull away. Basically, I sent him a lot of mixed signals. Recently, his wife found out he was talking to someone. He called me a few days after that and said he’d call me back when things cooled off. A day later he calls and gets upset at me for calling him on his wife’s cell phone. I got really upset and accused him of calling me “stupid”. I would never do such a thing and I don’t even know his wife’s phone number. Although, I think she was playing some kind of trick on him. Anyway, I haven’t heard from him after that. I was so upset at our last conversation, so when he said he’d call me again sometime, I brushed him off. It’s been a few weeks now and I’m feeling really shitty. I’m not sure what to do. I feel like I need some closure. If I’m never going to see or speak to him again, I wish I could just say goodbye and that I’m sorry for getting involved. I care deeply about him and I just want him to be happy. Do I call him and wish him a good life or just move on and try to forget?

I wouldnt bother.
he also has sent you mixed signals, getting divorced but doesnt want to rock the boat etc…
then she getting moody cos of your friendship whilst pregnant, getting a divorce and cheating!

Id say you’re better off out of it….. they seem to be using other people just to score points off each other.

If it is just a bad time and a mixed bag then he may just get in contact in the future when his feelings are no longer raw.
You dont need to be dragged into their dirty washing.

Technorati Tags: closure, find, forget, move

Me and my ex broke up 8 months ago. I took him for granted and caused pointless arguments. I know you always see 20/20 looking back and im still so mad at myself. I dont know why I treated him like that. I still care about him and miss him but he’d be crazy to wanna talk to me…What can I do? I tried talking to him a month after our break up, he said he wants nothing to do with me, but his friends say he still mentions me….Should I try again. Id like to get some closure even if i dont deserve it.

I think that the best thing you can do is write him a letter. (and make sure that he gets it) Let him know that you are sorry for how you treated him and that if you could undo it you would. Tell him that you still care about (or love) him and miss him very much, but that you hope life is treating him well.

If you have done anything major that has brought a positive change in you, let him know. Like if you have learned to take more responsibility for your own actions or have a new friend that has taught you to be kinder.

That’s about all you can do. A note he can read in his own time – when he is ready. It gives you the chance to say that you are sorry and to let him know how/if you have changed. From there, it’s up to him.

I hope that things go well for both of y’all. And if nothing else, perhaps your mistakes with him will be a learning experience that help you remember to treat your next man better.

Technorati Tags: closure

I really thought this guy liked me…he was sending all the signals, but never asked me out. He sent me chocolate and a card on Valentine’s Day and it was then that I told him I liked him as more than a friend. He had previously been very awkward and shy but he started talking to me more after that and said he would be interested. Things died down a bit and I started to get over him, but I was really confused as to what he wanted since his signals were so mixed! I had a mutual friend ask him what he was planning to do with me. He told the friend that he doesn’t think relationships are worth it in high school because he thinks they will end quickly and he doesn’t have the time, but he really wants to stay friends and keep talking with me and doesn’t want me to think he’s a jerk. I was expecting that, but needless to say, I was still a little disappointed. I know his parents are very strict (he doesn’t have a cell phone or facebook) and make him take hard classes, so I totally understand why he wouldn’t be ready for a relationship. The thing is, I wasn’t looking for a relationship, just a date! But now that I know it’s a lost cause, I’m ready to move on. However, other people found out which is upsetting because I don’t want them to feel bad for me because I don’t feel bad myself. One person flat out said she felt bad for me, and I could sense it in another guy’s tone of voice. They both thought he liked me and felt bad that it wasn’t so. Anyways, the mutual friend told him to talk to me about it, but he never did. He probably still thinks I like him. Should I let it go? Or should I confront him about it? I think I want to talk to him about it because I need closure. We’re in high school.

.Better if both of you talk about this,rationally.Don’t involve "friends".

Technorati Tags: closure, guy, mixed, move, signals

My gf and I have been together for three years straight, then off and on for anther two years. She’s my first gf and the only girl I loved like this (so far). Though I had other gf’s during our two year on and off relationships, I always break up with the others whenever she wants to get back again. Recently we broke up again because she said she was tired of me (again). I love her still, but I don’t want to hurt anymore. I got some advice and my friends told me that what we need is a formal closure. How do you do that? What happens in a closure? Does that really help? How do you do a closure?

If you really love her then honestly you might not ever have a proper "closure". If you love her in your heart that much then probably she will always in some way be a part of your life, whether you are together with her or not. I am a lot older than you I would say from yr pic, but I had a thing like this and everyone thought and I thought that I should get over it. I would just say don’t hope too much for a "closure" because that is not exactly how it is. Just move on with your life. I did a lot to try to achieve a "closure" but it really just made me a horrible and sad person. You can’t say that person never happened in your life, just be glad for the good times you had and hopefully it will get better. Take care and laugh when you can. lol.

Technorati Tags: break, closure, good

Ha ohh yeah it definitely is..you need closure in order for you to move on or it wont get you anywhere.

Good luck!

Technorati Tags: breaking, closure, hardest, move

It’s starting something when and you get interrupted in the middle of it and left there hanging on to nothing. There is nothing there but an emptiness, a void, a vacuum sucking the air out of you. In a relationship he or she is not there anymore and you feel an emptiness in your life. To be able to get back to normal you need to do whatever you can to fill that void. With he memories still in your heart and mind of him/her, it’s hard to do, I know. This is where time come into the equation. You have heard that time is all that is needed to heal a broken heart, well it is still true. As time goes by a person will heal from the inside, if they concentrate on other interest in their lives. Everything about the person will slowly start to fade away like the sun setting. A new day will dawn, which is the beginning of the door closing. With a new day starting, you will feel better about yourself and move on with your life. If your heart is searching for someone to fill that void, then that will be your interest. If it’s to get a job, then that will fill the void. Nature will do what it needs to do to put your heart and brain back on the right track.
God Bless you and stay safe.

Technorati Tags: breakup, closure