Stop the Pain of Break Up NOW Before It's Too Late!

Were you happy with your decision to keep your marriage and not to go through with the divorce or did you regret not going through with it? I am just curious and not asking this because I need help in deciding what to do in my life. I’ve made my decision and am very sure that it is the right one. We both love each other so much and now we both know that and we are very committed to our marriage and to each other.
You missed the question, Mickey. I was asking how many people had called off a divorce to save their marriage and if they were happy. I am not asking for advice. I guess this more like a survey question.
So, kkelly, has this happened to you? I don’t know why some people don’t answer the question as it is put. I wasn’t asking for people’s opinions, advice or vague generalizations, but if you had actually done this and how it turned out for you, or someone you know.

We had some trouble 35 yrs ago. We went to counseling and put the marriage back together stronger than it ever was. W also learned skills that we still use. I can’t imagine life without her. Am sooooo glad we worked to save the marriage. And it was work.

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Thanks for the previous answers. I would like to continue discussion….
Looks like my wife’s nature or mind is not thinking good. She don’t like any body who tell her some thing about her and her kids….like why you give this candy to your kids….your kids are not listening….any thing like that. After that she always thinking bad about that person and always complains about them to me and I knew that those all people don’t say every time. This is some thing that they see and tell her.
Except her 2 sisters she doesn’t have good relation with any body. She forces me to fight with my neighbor. She fights with my parents and my sister. She fights with her brother too. She always complains about all of my friend’s wife and her co-workers at her work. She doesn’t have any friends. She doesn’t like most of my relatives. Even one time she fights with her mom and dad. I told her even if I knew your nature if you behave good with me I don’t care about others. We will happily live together

Do you love your wife? Is she more important to you than yourself? Some people are so misunderstood, and wind up alone as a result .. all because no-one takes the time to help them out. I think your wife is one of those people – instead of getting mad, frustrated & upset with her .. sit down and talk to her. People don’t get mad for no reason, or pick fights for no reason, or dislike others for no reason. If she’s irritable, argumentative, complains alot and fights alot, you need to understand that she does it BECAUSE OF something going on inside her. You’re her husband – the pillar of the family .. you need to be there for your wife. Stop seeking better, start MAKING better. Help her out .. she may be struggling with depression, bitterness towards your family members or she may just be feeling totally stressed out .. you need to figure out why she’s behaving the way she is. Remember what I said before – people don’t just go round making life hell for others for the fun of it. The majority of the time, it’s because they have some sort of an internal battle going on. Trust me, I’ve been one of those people .. and my brother still is. I’ve learnt not to get mad or insulted when he hurts me .. Instead, I try to help him out .. and believe it or not, it soothes him. I know he struggles, I know he battles his own demons .. and he doesn’t need criticism .. he needs a friend. If you truly love your wife, you’ll sit down with her and give her a hand to hold and a shoulder to cry on. Ask her why she doesn’t like your family members – maybe they offended her. Ask her if she’s feeling upset/anxious/stressed/depressed. She may be having a rough time, and she doesn’t need you to make it worse .. she needs help & love. You’d be surprised at what a little tender care can do .. instead of forcing her to change, help her out. She may just respond, and you’ll watch her bloom into something beautiful before you Do your best not to judge before you know the real problem. All the best!

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I have been married for 11 years. I have 2 kids. Both are under 8. Our life was good up to 8 years but after that my wife’s nature has been changed. First thing she doesn’t like my mom, dad and sister. Even if my parents do babysitter and most of the food preparation she always fight with them but I knew that my Wife is first to me then my parents so I have send my parents back to my country. Even if my parents call my house she always told me to insult them. Also if I call them then she always fight with me so I stop calling them.
Besides that my wife always tont me like you are dum,you don’t know how to happy me,she always bring issue of money in every topic like…because of more money you do this. She always told me that you are not capable of getting new good job even I work as a engineer and making more than $100000.She always working like boss and when ever we fight she never say sorry. I have to say sorry every time. Even if we both work I do more things then her.Pls Help me.

Hey stop letting her control you. This will get more respect from her and also yourself. Sounds like she is looking for you to stand up for yourself. But if this isn’t the case it might be time for you and the kids to think about ending the marriage.

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Well…..I am back after 8 or 9 month……still leaving together with my wife….but looks like it’s going to be ending very soon…..but I don’t want to be happened that…for my kids and for our religious reputations….but how long I can still suffer this……
My wife works from 7 to 3.30 and makes food for us, bringing and feeding my kids in the evening and cleaning after dinner that’s all her daily duty and I also help her in all those work as well as I do all other work alone for example…morning tea/breakfast, bathing both kids, dropping both to school, after dinner I do all things for kids. Means I do all other extra work to give her extra relief but even though she always talking bad about my parents. My parents are in Canada right now but she said why they are not coming here. Everybody knows that she fight with them that’s why they left my home and everybody thinks that that’s good for her and for my parents. Even though she always fighting with me saying that your parents are self-fish, your sister is self-fish, She force me not call my parents and even force me to talk bad when they call me. Every day she said to me that looks in our friends group all parents helping them but not your parents. We fight lot because of those things. I never initiate discussion about my family but some how she started and end up fighting. Even I help her lot she doesn’t care of my help. Looks like she find the way to tight and after that I have to say sorry and get back to her normal mood. She calls my work during her lunch and force me to talk and list ion her and that’s also for long time. If I said I can’t talk more then she started like you don’t like me. I can’t say anything to you etc…Etc…Even if I late by 10 minutes from my work she says why are you late? I said because of traffic…the she said you are also lier like your parents….self-fish like your parents….and then didn’t speak to me whole day and I have to say sorry…..
So looks like what ever she said to me, I have to agree with her. She always insult and torcher me and I keep silence. I am still doing this for my kids but how long…I am scared that if I speak up then I can’t stop…I can say all her bad things that she did to me and my family and I am not sure that what she can do after that….that’s why I am still quiet. She even didn’t talk to her parents, brothers and sisters because everybody knows and told her that it’s purely her mistake…so looks like I am the only person left for her…and I do care about her…but how long this continues???????
Please help…….give your good opinion.
Thanks.

Stop posting here and get yourselves into some kind of counseling! If you guys can’t talk to someone (religious leader, therapist – someone qualified) it doesn’t sound like the marriage will last…

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I have asked this question before and I want to continue that discussion to find out what do you think about my wife based on this scenario….my wife always fight with me this way.
She always expect gift from me in all occasion like B’Day, Anniversary, mothers day etc…The day before this year mother’s day she asked me if I bought any gifts for her behalf of my kids. I said no. I told her I can give you money & you can buy your self because you don’t like my gift and you fight with me. She said no. I need the gift from you so I bought 3 t-shirts/tops for her. She opened it, take a look and throw on the floor saying that I don’t like any one and she said you buy this because of less money and you knew that I don’t like it so you are going to return the store…after that she keep talking bad things to me…she cancel our dinner plan. She talks bad about my parents. I told her sorry so many times. She said because of marriage with me she destroyed her life. She is normal after 2 days.

Whoa!—she is really mental. Maybe she has serious hormonal problems and needs to go to a doctor right now. But, whatever her choice she cannot continually make the choice to treat you like her pet. You have to set boundaries with her saying something like if you continue to speak to me in a hateful way…..I will leave the room or leave the party or leave the house for a while until you can speak to me as your beloved and not a dog. It is not okay for you to continually have to accept to live this way. Please get counseling.

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My boyfriend and I have been together for about 6 months… We have broken up about 3 or 4 times… but we always find ourselves getting back together everytime… I think the reason why is because I love him to much to let him go…. Is it really love? He asks me back out 2 times and I did the same… I told him I love him and he means the world to me… and he knows it… we are always happy together and when we have the time we go on our dates, and we always talk every night on the phone… Can someone help me find out whats going on?

He is playing around with this relationship. Maybe he just wants sex or money or emotional support that you provide for him. 1 thing is for sure he is getting something from you and he needs that until he is completely satisfied in another relationship and then he will break-up for real. You don’t need that. Why do you keep going through pain all the time? Let him go and find yourself a man that will appreciate what he has.

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which one

and if so why? thanks for keeping it real

Most of the time its Jerry Springer because that guy is really getting on my nerves at the moment. They were nice in the beggining but now they are total a holes.

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A yr ago, my ex was about to move from NYC to Cali 2 be w/ me but I lost my job & decided to move again. As I wanted to be free to concentrate on my next move I broke up w/ him, though deeply in love. The outfall was brutal; he was defensive & hurt & rebounding like crazy; I didn’t really know how to read him over the phone. Later, he tried to reach out but wasn’t making that clear. I just went back and visited him & realized I still loved him & how he worked. We saw we had been deeply in love & seperated by misunderstanding but he said the last year had crushed his feelings. When I showed him how his way of handling things had created my reaction, he said he wished the last year hadn’t happened & wanted to try. I proposed we keep in touch and give things a fresh start as I left; he looked radiant as I kissed his cheeks. My gut feeling is to give things some time and then contact him, as I tended to be more of the initiator, but I don’t want to let things go too long. Any advice?

Cold for one. The whole breaking it off for you to concentrate on your next move. Shows that your still pretty lost on your purpose in life and two that your a tad selfish about it. You could of handled that much better and maybe it wouldn’t of hurt him so much. But I don’t know what led up to that descion I thinking chances are it might of been him pushing on you to hard. Because any other reason would of been extremely selfish. But still selfish in its own right but his reaction to it was overboard thou. The other thing is how out of touch with your own feelings you are. Not good, shouldn’t take seeing this guy in person to prove to yourself you still love him. Shows that you don’t honor to well the presences in your life, that out of sight, out of mind. Which also shows me that your overly independent of people in your life, which makes for a very lonely life. I’d be carful thou, because he did show an inability to be independent of individuals himself, almost like you guys are yin-yang with how you guys handle your insecurities in your interpersonal relationships. Also its good in words, but the heart never forgets, you guys can’t act like the past year didn’t happened are else your just trying to forget the lessons learn, plus history is big pillar in a relationship. You guys should talk it into the ground, not ignore it. If anyone your going to confront your shame with, it should be your lover. And he and you should realize that. Also this guys got a problem, he should of let you go after that long. No offense, but the whole true love, romantic love, soul-mate thing just neglects the fact that we can love many, many things. Its the situation around that loving relationship that determines how true, good, pure, right that relationship is for you. Looking at this… doesn’t look good….. and him unable to find someone else shows he can’t see himself as being an equal to you, he still worship you in other words, not good and not healthy for him. Besides also realize that at the core of every deep and meaningful relationship is a friendship. Take a step back and see if you can see how you’ve actual been a friend to this guy… without that all you are is two strangers that agree just to love each other…. love is so much more complex soup of feelings and it needs more then just raw sexual attraction to work right…. your guys are finding the right path, just keep in mind what you guys need to do is work on the friendship (which is to say a relationship in which you guys trust and relate all your feelings, ALL of your feelings, espacially your insecurites, nightmares, horriable feelings of impending doom, and fantasies, desires, shoot the only thing that divides lovers form friends is the level of physical intimacy and the togetherness of the future) and this could turn into a wonderful relationship. The problem with these answering personal questions like this is I don’t have your intiution, your gut feelings, without that these tend to just be general advice… listen to yourself and make sure it listens with you….and hopfully he’ll do the same for you, good luck

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I still love my ex. It has been 6 months for our break up.

I still love my ex like it was day one. She passed away 5 years ago.

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