Stop the Pain of Break Up NOW Before It's Too Late!

It’s been almost three months since I found out about my husbands affair. We are tryong to work thru it. I cry about it everyday, sometimes all day. It doesn’t matter what I am doing, (taking a shower, driving, cooking) I just have those painful memories of his affair flutter into my mind and I start crying. I feel like I can’t control it. How long is this supposed to last?

Well, it sounds like you’ve had some helpful advice, but mostly a lot of people who offer nothing but their opinion in people who cheat. I’m sorry for that. Unfortunately infidelity happens, but most marriages do not end in its wake.

What you are experiencing is normal and the time it takes varies with each person. But the affair is still fresh for you—you have not been crying for abnormally long yet. Healing takes months to even a few years for some. Three months is early in the process—you are still in the shock stages.

•What are you doing to repair your marriage?
•Are you in marriage counseling?
If not, go now! If he won’t go with you, go alone!
In addition to counseling find a support group for yourself. There are many online forums for dealing with and recovering from infidelity.
•Do you attend church? If so talk to your minister.
•Is your husband working with you to heal?
•Has he agreed to end the affair and stop contacting the OW?
If there is OW contact, will your husband tell you? Consider that unless he sees her regularly at work, if there is contact and he fails to tell you, what will you then believe if you find out later? He may fail to tell you for honourable reasons: he wants to avoid reminding you and having a tear festival, but in the long run he will build trust by telling you.
•Is he willingly answering your questions about the affair?
•Is he now being accountable for his time?
•Did he disclose the infidelity or did you discover it?
If you discovered it, did he admit it immediately or deny first?

•Do you know what made your husband vulnerable to an affair? Did you experience any serious life changes within a year before the affair began—moving, deaths, births, job changes…?
oDid he feel neglected or that he had unfulfilled needs?
oWas he avoiding conflict or the opposite, intimacy?
•When did the affair start and how long did it last?
•What kind of infidelity was it?
oJust Sex—friends with benefits, though more than a one-night stand
oEmotionally-bonded where he thought he was in-love—don’t be mislead by that term, it’s really just addictive infatuation junk.
oOne-night…or a few over a weekend business trip or similar
•How did he juggle the affair with his home life—how did he keep the secret?

These are all questions that can be addressed through counseling. Your husband may not know the answers in specific ways.

Recovery from an affair is a big job. Your husband may be experiencing emotional difficulty if he was in an emotionally-bonded affair and now is not experiencing the addictive highs. He may not want to share this with you because it may make you feel worse or will bring on more tears—and being male tears scare him because he doesn’t know what to do.

It is not your job to fix your husband—that’s his job. It is not his job to fix you—that’s your job. But both of you needs to listen to each other. If he doesn’t seem understanding of your pain, it’s because he’s not. This doesn’t mean he’s cold-hearted and callous. But he is on the other side of it. He doesn’t know what it feels like for you. He just wants the mess to go away and wants to fix it. But that’s not how it works. He may think that not talking about it will help since talking about it just makes you more upset. But Sweetie, I’m sorry that’s part of the process of recovery. You are going to be upset.

You can rebuild your marriage and it can be stronger than before. But that’s not going to happen overnight or in another week or even another month.

Books to read—listed alphabetically by author
•’After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful.’ By Janis Abrahms Spring
This is the #1 rated book in the Couples & Family Therapy category on Amazon.
•’My Husband’s Affair Became the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me.’ By Anne Bercht
This is a personal account. The author also runs the Beyond Affairs Network (BAN) website listed below in the website resources.
•’Not "Just Friends": Protect Your Relationship From Infidelity and Heal the Trauma of Betrayal.’ By Shirley P. Glass
This is long, but an excellent information text filled with statistics.
•’Surviving an Affair.’ Willard F. Harley and Jennifer Harley Chalmers.
This book reviews specific strategies for recovery. The authors’ website is listed below—marriagebuilders.
•’Infidelity: A Survival Guide.’ By Don-David Lusterman
This is relatively short ~ 200 pages, and more informational than instructional, but the information is excellent.
•’The Truth about Cheating: Why Men Stray and What You Can Do to Prevent It.’ By M. Gary Neuman
I haven’t read the book, but the author has been guest on Oprah. He discussed statistics.
•’Private Lies: Infidelity and the Betrayal of Intimacy.’ By Frank S. Pittman
I love this book. It’s older than the others, but an excellent resource of information.
•’Getting Past the Affair: A Program to Help You Cope, Heal, and Move On –

Technorati Tags: affair, crying, stop

Is she trying to cleanse it from herself? She had an affair with a coworker, and she was dating a guy for nearly ten years at the time.

I guess she wanted to be upfront and honest with you so your relationship would be completely open. Ask her why she felt she had to tell you……..geez we don’t know

Technorati Tags: 12, affair, girlfriend, years

The affair was emotional and not physical. Did you have a hard time forgetting about the other person? If so how long did it take?

You need to realize what you did was wrong no 2 ways about it, whether it was a physical or emotional affair. Maybe he finally realized he was going down the wrong path and bailed on you because it was leading to the physical part. Why can’t you find someone to get attached to that isn’t married? Are you not worthy?

Technorati Tags: affair, hard, involved, person, time

My husband had an emotional affair when I was pregnant with our daughter. There was no sex involved. He was sneaking around to see an ex girlfriend and letting her call him on his cell while he was at work. I found out back in June when I was 6 months pregnant. I was of course livid, but decided I want this marriage to work. Our daughter is now 5 weeks old and I am having such a hard time giving trust back to him. I still feel very hurt, but want to move on from this.

So, anyone go through anything like this? How did you move forward in your relationship?
Oh, it wasn’t a sweet, "Oh, come back home." I put my foot through his stereo, broke all his collectible action figures, broke his cds, broke his games, etc. I was pissed he was sneaking around. Still am. I do like the idea about making him dress like a fairy princess.

Make him dress up as a fairy princess for halloween! Wal mart has those Hanna Montana wigs. Put make up on hin and make him go out in public. That woule be a total scream! LOL

Technorati Tags: affair, husband

http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/surviving-an-affair-killer-mistakes.htm Surviving an affair is helped by stopping the killer mistakes that prevent infidelity healing and recovery.

Duration : 0:3:37

(more…)

Technorati Tags: affair, an, coping, dealing, healing, Infidelity, surviving, With

http://YourExBackhelp.blogspot.com / You and your spouse asking yourselves…”Is life really that bad with each other and how will our decision affect our children?”…. May be all it takes to stop your marriage from ending in divorce

Duration : 0:0:59

(more…)

Technorati Tags: advice, affair, apart, attracted, attraction, avoid, booty, boyfriend, call, cheat, chemistry, chicks, counseling, Couple, cry, dial, divorce, dr, Drunk, Dumped, feelings, flirting, girl, girlfriend, happiness, harmony, heartbreak, her, him, hook, horiscope, husbandex, Infidelity, laura, Love, make, man, marriage, match, miss, oprah, phil, psychiatrist, psychologist, recover, relationship, reunite, romance, save, separated, sex, shrink, sign, single, split, strippers, therapist, together, up, vanae, wife, woman, your

http://YourExBackhelp.blogspot.com / You and your spouse asking yourselves…”Is life really that bad with each other and how will our decision affect our children?”…. May be all it takes to stop your marriage from ending in divorce

Duration : 0:0:53

(more…)

Technorati Tags: advice, affair, and, apart, attracted, attraction, avoid, booty, boyfriend, call, cheat, chemistry, chicks, counseling, Couple, cry, dial, divorce, dr, Drunk, Dumped, fast, feelings, flirting, girl, girlfriend, happiness, harmony, heartbreak, her, him, hook, horiscope, how, husbandex, Infidelity, laura, Love, make, man, marriage, match, miss, oprah, phil, psychiatrist, psychologist, recover, relationship, reunite, romance, save, separated, sex, shrink, sign, single, split, strippers, therapist, to, together, up, vanae, wife, woman, your

Is your relationship vulnerable to infidelity? Renown relationship therapist, Dr. Sheri Meyers, offers help and answers to your most critical questions about ways to avoid cheating.

Duration : 0:5:19

(more…)

Technorati Tags: affair, affairs, Cheating, communications, dr, Infidelity, meyers, proof, relationship, relationships, sheri, your

Visit http://www.NoBreakUp.info and discover exactly how you to deal with your, or your partners, emotional infidelity.

The topic of infidelity is a frequent topic with couples experiencing relationsip problems. When most people hear the terms ‘cheating’, ‘infidelity’ or ‘affair’, they almost always think of a passionate, romantic, physical relationship. And certainly many people do engage in physical affairs borne out of immaturity, acting out of hostility and even sexual addiction.

What is less understood however, and at times can be even more threatening to a long-term relationship than a physical affair, is emotional infidelity.

Learn how you can avoid, or recover from, this corrosive blight on your relationship at the How To Get Your Ex Back Blog at http://www.howtogetyourexback.bestreviewsandguides.com

Duration : 0:5:22

(more…)

Technorati Tags: advice, affair, an, and, Cheating, deal, emotional, fix, help, how, howto, Infidelity, recognize, relationship, Signs, tips, to, With

http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/survive-infidelity-decisions.htm Learn how to avoid the killer mistakes that prolong the affair and your agony. Sign up now for Free E-course.

Duration : 0:3:21

(more…)

Technorati Tags: affair, an, dealing, from, healing, how, Infidelity, recovering, survive, surviving, to, With