Stop the Pain of Break Up NOW Before It's Too Late!

Hi, my girlfriend broke up with me a week and a half ago after weve been together for four months. She since her exams started she hasnt felt we connected anymore like we used to even a few weeks before the exams. She said that she was maybe even using the exams as an excuse not to to do somefin wif me she was that confused. She said it was the hardest thing she ever done in her life and has been crying for ages about it and was almost crying on the day, her eyes filled up. I told her I cared a lot about her and she said she cared about me and wants to be friends but she doesnt no how that would work since we never were friends. I am her first bf and believe that we drifted apart because we didnt spend enough time alone as a couple.And think she made a rushed decision because of exams and stress, Im disappointed she didnt try to make it work as well. Anyway i respected her decision and decided maybe she needs space so I havent contacted her since. I didnt want to wait around for her and have been trying to get on with life. my friends girlfriend is actually one of her friends but is annoied at her and shocked for breaking up with me and nt trying to make it work so shes not going out of her way to talk to her. The problem I have is today I found out that my ex is actually now going out with another guy. I was surprised it hurt me as much as it did, and have been so confused and shocked now at hearing this. my friend seen her bebo and someguy is now her other half and have been sending flirty comments. my friends girlfriend then asked her and my ex says she is going out with someone. Now I really am confused and don’t get how she could go out with someon1 so soon. Im getting a hole pile of thoughts going through my head. Im now getting the impressions she cheated on me for him and that she never did care about me?:s. she was very upset about breaking up with me and I didnt think she would b able to date again for a while. she is also going to france in half a month for a month. she is still in the middle of the exams which end next week that she needs 3As for. I just dont get it and am so confused. She def didnt seem to be the sort of girl that would cheat r do something like that so quickly saying I am her first boyfriend and she was extremely upset and she said that she cared about me. my mums even surprised :s im just so confused right now. she hasnt contacted me i avent contacted her I signed in msn once nd she went straight off. she also put pics of us up together on bebo the day after the breakup from the night b4 and kept her status the same:S.im so confused.would she be trying to make me jealous r anything?i get the impression now she never cared about me, cheated on me, lied to me about the break up and everything else and she didnt seem to be that sort of person to do that :S.ive been trying to move on and was prepared for this but not so soon and it did hurt more than I thought.is this normal for girls to do:S
ive also been hearing that she has been doing terrible in her A levels and getting realy upset, which also hurts me cause I still care about her. my friends girlfriend that is friends with her basically says my ex is turning into a waster. I dont get it she just seems to have completely turned her life upside down.

she was probably really confused and possibly felt that you didn’t care enough about her…maybe. she probably had other stuff going on in her life, did you ever ask her what was wrong? you need to send her an email/txt/voicemail telling her she is a good person and you miss her and you hope she’s doing alright. because this way she would know you still care about her, she’s feels happier, she might realize she shouldnt have broke up with you and also she would think about you(thou she probably does). good luck!

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My boyfriend and I were together for 3 years and 4 months, he broke up with me about 1 week ago now, out of no where! He broke up with me over a text message and wouldnt event talk to me. His mom was at my house crying with me, nobody knew what was going on. come to find out, he has a new gf. so he left me for her. i must add. she is teeribly uggly! honestly and im not saying it just because im pissed. everyone is trippen on why he downgraded. he tells me she has a better personality then me, thats kinda harsh. he told me he didnt love me any more. he said as a friend kinda but even then still not. How do u stop caring for a person in a day!? that doesnt make sence. he has to be lieing, well he is cuz i finally got it out of him that he does care, but he made it pretty clear that he wants nothing to do with me. It kills me to see them drive by in his truck (thats the hottest truck in town if i might add) we picked it out together, and she is sitting in my seat, she goes to his house and sits in my seat and sleeps in my side of the bed! it makes me so sick to my stomach. at night i dream of it and i wake up, and its like he broke up with me all over again. I try to go out and have fun, but i still cant figure it all out. I need help to figure out if he would want me back, is this just a phase? i need help on how to make him want me back. i know this might sound mean, but i dont really want to be with him after how much he hurt me, but i dont want him with her, since she is the one he left me for. He wanted me too be unhappy so i want him to be also. i just need tips on how to make him want me back. and keep in mind he restricted me so i cant call him with my phone(but i can use another) and i work with him!! o and he is already taking her to OUR friends houses after a week! So im left out all alone. O AND KEEP IN MIND, I AM IN LOVE WITH HIS ENTIRE FAMILY!! WE WERE TOGETHER 247 ALL DAY EVERYDAY! KEEP THAT IN MIND ALSO! how do u go from that to nothing with no hurt (well obviously cuz he has someone to focus on, but like whyyy) PLEASE HELP! THANK YOU!

he’s an ass, obviously if he moved on that fast he’s been unhappy for a while now… don’t humiliate yourself or downgrade yourself for someone who ain’t worth it. Try to move on, of course is painful but is just a phase stop thinking about his happiness and start concentrating on yours. Best of luck to you.

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i dated my ex for almost 2 years, we were ok but i think being too attached with each other makes us argue few times. He’s got some anger outbursts but i def love him. I know he loves me too. The last break-up we had was 3 months ago and we talked about it weeks ago, he cried to me. I am still in love with him. I emailed him my feelings too but it seemed he’s being aloof and email me some few words which i am not really contented at. What should i do? i want him back, any tips?

Tell him you want him back. You two are at a point now that you should not feel like you should have to hold anything back from each other. I think that maybe he did not know how to properly express his feelings through his email so he just wrote a few words. You two need to be face to face and just vent on how the both of you feel about your past relationship and current friendship.

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Here is the story:
————————-
A woman, 23, successful, very good job, decent looking, sweet, smart, well rounded, relatively well-off has never dated before (her problems: a little aggressive, shy, distant).
One day she meets a great guy. There is a spark, they go out for three months.

Her shyness and distance alienated the guy, he was patient for the three months but could not take it anymore. He breaks up.
She regrets her attitude and she tries to get back, but he wants out.

A month has passed by and she still likes him a lot. She wants to give it another chance. She knows that she has so much to offer, and that he would have liked her so much had he shown him the real her, and been herself around him. She just wishes there was a way for him to realize it was just her shyness that lead to her distance, and that in reality, she’s a very different kind hearted person.

Here is the question:
——————————
What should she do? If you were that guy, what would make you get back to her? How about just restoring friendship? If so, how to get back this friendship?

is she hot? has she put on a few pounds? (what do you mean by "well rounded"), is she ethnic? if she’s you then she should move on. if she’s some mythical girl then i agree with the BJ suggestions

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any tips or advice for what to do in this situation?

don’t date them you won’t have a chance it is a waste of money

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She broke up with me and i really want her back, i cant move on and i was planning to marry her, we have being dating for 1 year and 6 months, she always sends me messages that says she loves me alot but now she sent a message that said its over.
i dont know what happened and she wont tell me, her phone is now off, and she doesnt send back any letters.
PLEASE HELP

You just need to talk to her and ask her what is going on. Why did she initiated the break up without any explanation. You deserve at least that… an answer

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her. I emailed her and simply said that I would like to try and make our relationship work. She told me that she misses me as well, but she needs more time, which I am going to give her. Before she broke-up with me, she said I had been a "heel" at times, not quite a jerk, bust just a thoughtless, selfish, stupid ass. No verbal abuse, we always respected each other, certainly no physical abuse and no cheating by either of us. I know she will get to the point where she will be over me entirely, and I will lose my high school sweetheart (she found me after 26 years of looking!) Please, no smarmy answers, I’m hurting here. Have you taken somebody back that was a little insensitive at times (together 7 months), but who you knew was very sorry and who is, in fact, capable of change? I really would like to think that she just needs that time, but that we can run into each others arms again (OK, I know, a little too sappy). Thoughts? TY!

If she says that she misses you, there is definitely a place in her heart that says that she wants to take you back, and that you’re still apart of her. Girls, often take back their ex. Just give her time, and some space, but make her realize that you’re willing to change, and you’re willing to work hard to gain back that trust, respect, and love that you once had. I have taken back someone who was a little insensitive at times, but I knew that he was sorry for all the wrong that he did to me. So don’t worry about it! Time will heal all things =) Hope this helped!

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all into to me until he gets over her. We only went out for 2 months. I was in love with him. I saw him today to get my stuff back and he basically said if i were by his side he could eventually forget about her. I want to be with him but then i realize that if we do get back together than we will have trust issues. What should i do.

2 months in teen years is a lifetime. However, you will see that as you become more mature it takes longer than 2 months to really develop a loving trusting relationship. Move on and enjoy dating. Bing tied down too young in life takes a lot of the fun out of life. Besides, it sounds like this guy wants his cake and you. He may want her, can’t have her, so he’s "settling" for you. Don’t be used. Move on.

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Okay so my girlfriend broke up with me just about two months ago because she said my randomness (wich most say is funny and one of my highlights) emberasses her really bad from time to time and she said its like i don’t care that sometimes i bother her (i seriously tried to not emberasse her but she doesn’t think i tried at all) which eneded up in her breaking up with me. So after nearly two months of no contact (by the way we’re both 16) she texted me today and we started a conversation and shared laughs etc etc. Then the conversation led to her saying she broke up with me because she said i had given up on our relationship (which i can understand why she might have thought that) and we had a lengthy talk about how i was sorry and how i wanted more than anything to be with her and then all of a sudden after it seemed like maybe she wanted me back she just ended the conversation saying in the middle of the talk about us "bye see you on tuesday" (we go back to school on tuesday and we’re in the same classes). So was she just trying to have a heart 2 heart with me to be friends or is she considering taking me back or what do you think the conversation including the abrupt ending means? Please help me, i’m having such a hard time through this ordeal and i literally have spent nights crying

naww poor you!
that is all so confusing,
but i understand it all completely!

i think she couldve been having a heart to heart converstaion with you..
but i also think that she might want you back.
us girls dont really have heart to heart conversations with our ex’s unless we still like them or want them back.
well most girls.
maybe you should ask her?
or if your too uncomfortable to ask her if she wants you back, wich i completely understand why.. then just talk to her, and if she’s telling you lots of things, and any secrets or personal stuff.. then thats a sign that she likes you.
girls dont just have heart to heart conversations with any guy. when they wna have a heart to heart conversation its with the guy she trusts most.
goodluck hun, hope i helped you!
and i hope all goes well!

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back in feb 2008 i met this guy over bebo he was same age as me and was my first relationship we kept talking for few months then decided to meet up. we started seeing each other more and more and as it was a distant i lived up with him. he promised me he loved me and wouldnt ever leave me. i decided to go down to my parents for my brothers birthday and stay until christmas which was 6 weeks all together .from then it all went down hill and i still dont know the reason why he wanted to leave me but the one thing that hurt me the most was he sent a email to dump me after speaking to me on msn saying how much he loved me. i suffered a years depression over it and was a total wreck and made a load of mistakes . but this june i decided to go on a free dating site i thought it was risky but went for it as all i have wanted is to be loved by someone and i started talking to someone who lived in the same area as me as i moved back to plymouth after splitting with my ex . i was being careful but after a few months we met and been together 4months now and i couldnt be happier. i just wanted some advice on how i can completely block the past out and bring in the future as i get times where i get so upset and angry i dont want that no more .

Well, I still feel the same way like you after splitting up with my ex almost a year ago (the day before thanksgiving last year). It was really tough on me, and thank goodness i’ve been with a new guy now for 8 months and couldn’t be happier.. but I still have those hurtful feelings toward my ex and what he did.

Maybe its because we are emotional people? I’m not sure. I just believe it takes time to heal wounds.

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