Should I find closure or just move on and try to forget?
I met a wonderful guy about a month ago. I was going through a divorce with my husband and he was going thru a divorce (his wife cheated). We spoke on the phone a few times and hung out about three times. All of his friends and family know how much he wants a divorce but have asked him to wait a few months because his wife is pregnant and they didn’t want her getting upset and running off with the baby. Our relationship was very innocent. I tried not to get too close to him. His wife really hurt him by sleeping with his best friend and I didn’t want to be the rebound so we remained friends. I kept my distance. And I’ve never let him think I cared much about him even though I did. When I found myself becoming more and more attached to him, I’d pull away. Basically, I sent him a lot of mixed signals. Recently, his wife found out he was talking to someone. He called me a few days after that and said he’d call me back when things cooled off. A day later he calls and gets upset at me for calling him on his wife’s cell phone. I got really upset and accused him of calling me “stupid”. I would never do such a thing and I don’t even know his wife’s phone number. Although, I think she was playing some kind of trick on him. Anyway, I haven’t heard from him after that. I was so upset at our last conversation, so when he said he’d call me again sometime, I brushed him off. It’s been a few weeks now and I’m feeling really shitty. I’m not sure what to do. I feel like I need some closure. If I’m never going to see or speak to him again, I wish I could just say goodbye and that I’m sorry for getting involved. I care deeply about him and I just want him to be happy. Do I call him and wish him a good life or just move on and try to forget?
I wouldnt bother.
he also has sent you mixed signals, getting divorced but doesnt want to rock the boat etc…
then she getting moody cos of your friendship whilst pregnant, getting a divorce and cheating!
Id say you’re better off out of it….. they seem to be using other people just to score points off each other.
If it is just a bad time and a mixed bag then he may just get in contact in the future when his feelings are no longer raw.
You dont need to be dragged into their dirty washing.
dating while in this type of situation is tough, i know im in a simalair boat, it real depends on how you both feel, give him a call if he is rude forget it, hey you never know.
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Right now isn’t a good time for games with this guy. He has way to much on his plate. Keep your distance for a while and let him get some of these major problems out of the way. Maybe then, he will call you. The worst thing you can be is in the way when someone has all this stuff going on.
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I wouldnt bother.
he also has sent you mixed signals, getting divorced but doesnt want to rock the boat etc…
then she getting moody cos of your friendship whilst pregnant, getting a divorce and cheating!
Id say you’re better off out of it….. they seem to be using other people just to score points off each other.
If it is just a bad time and a mixed bag then he may just get in contact in the future when his feelings are no longer raw.
You dont need to be dragged into their dirty washing.
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I’d move on honestly. From the sounds of it, he doesn’t care for you or respect you. It’s understandable that you’d feel bad for it and possibly said things you wish to take back. Ask yourself this: will contacting him really give you the closure you seek? One thing you can to do get your "good bye" is to write a letter to him but never send it. Write everything you feel out on the piece of paper. I wish you luck on what you choose.
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He has a real problem in his hands… his wife !! a real B*tch for sure. I cant believe she can cheat, but doesnt want him to be around anybody else… I think if u try to be with this guy or get any close to him, she’s gonna come barking everytime. She’s obviously very jealous and selfish and wants everything including her ex/husband plus the guys she cheats with . . . ppl like that don’t learn. and I think she has some power over him for him to even believe her, and to even accuse u, she obviously knows a way to trick him…. personally i say back off and dont even go into that drama. cuz it’ll always be like this.
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Wow. That sounds really complicated. To me, it sounds like initially he wanted something because he was going to get a divorce after his wife had the baby. Now, it sounds like he may be backtracking. Or maybe he just wants to keep things calm for the betterment of his wife’s wellbeing while pregnant.
IMHO, I would say that you should hang back and wait it out if you really want to pursue something with him. You risk two things though: (1) He may not be interested in pursuing a relationship once that new life enters this world, and may want to work things out with his wife, and (2) You risk finding someone else that will have so many things in common with you, and isn’t committed legally and ethically to another woman. I would send him a final email and tell him that you don’t want to burden his situation and you are bowing out. He just may respect you enough to contact you when the divorce papers are filed.
I wish you the best of luck.
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