Any suggestions for recovering from a bad break up and trying to do it right?
I just broke up with a guy I was dating for 6 months, even though we both knew that we weren’t right for each other, and that the relationship should have ended sooner. What kept us there was a strong physical attraction, but we weren’t really that compatible otherwise. Ultimately, I ended it. I tried to do it in person, but he wasn’t receptive to it, so I did it by email. That ended in a blood bath. Apologies were made, but it left me wounded, and I don’t think it was good for either of us. Any suggestions on how to right this wrong, and leave the relationship on a good note?
Breaking up with someone is never easy, even under the very BEST circumstances. It sounds to me like you’ve already done the hard parts (admitting that a purely a physical attraction DOES NOT make a relationship and ultimately ending it).
Now you have to fully come to terms with what has happened. You said in your post that you’ve been wounded by this experience……why do you feel it is so important to leave things on a "good note". Someone who REALLY cares about you- even if it didn’t work out- would NEVER purposefully or knowingly wound you. It sounds to me like you would like to preserve a friendship of sorts with this person…….I don’t think it’s possible, viable, or more importantly HEALTHY! There is no need to hang on to this………let go and you will be all the better for doing so. Accept the fact that it is truly done, over, finished, the fat lady sang and caught her flight out of town. Now relax and take a big deep breath.
Get back to the gym, read a good book, have a day at the spa, spin your favorite tunes, buy a new outfit, do whatever makes you feel good. Focus on all the positive things you have in your life and CHOOSE to put yourself in positive situations and around positive people. I should add that his circle of friends or stomping grounds is NOT included in any of those options.
A few parting words of caution, don’t be quick to jump into another relationship. Explore what it is that you truly want for yourself and don’t settle for anything less. Dream BIG!!! And when you do start looking for that special "someone" again, make sure that they love you for ALL the wonderful things you have to offer. Good luck and stay well.
Not by e-mail for starters. I would give him a call and hang out with him and explain everything in person.
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It’s probably not worth doing anything now. You may want to wait and let things settle, then you can contact him via phone or email with a lasting goodbye, good feelings.
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Apologising couldn’t hurt. Sometimes it’s easy, especially when it’s all over anyway, just to take the blame. Even for things that you’re not to blame for. Being humble and still friendly could be just the ticket.
I like your attitude though. Good luck!
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my ex did that same thing by breaking up with me on an email. I treated her like a princess in every way i could, though i did replied to her email and wished her best in life but to tell you the truth i will never forgive her all my life.
breaking up on an email simply reflects that you are not worth a person, its disgusting.
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If he wasnt receptive to the in person break up you could have just walked away and not taken any calls from him til he got the hint. I wouldn’t really worry about it too much you accomplished what you wanted- to be out of a relationship that was heading nowhere. You can’t be friends with all your exes so i wouldnt worry too much about it.
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There is never a good way to break-up. It’s always painful and at times will leave you miserable for months or maybe even years. However, there is a way to cope. By remembering only the good things and forgiving the bad. Then and only then will you begin to heal and move on.
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Esteban R. Garcia, Author
JOURNEY INTO MY SOUL
Breaking up with someone is never easy, even under the very BEST circumstances. It sounds to me like you’ve already done the hard parts (admitting that a purely a physical attraction DOES NOT make a relationship and ultimately ending it).
Now you have to fully come to terms with what has happened. You said in your post that you’ve been wounded by this experience……why do you feel it is so important to leave things on a "good note". Someone who REALLY cares about you- even if it didn’t work out- would NEVER purposefully or knowingly wound you. It sounds to me like you would like to preserve a friendship of sorts with this person…….I don’t think it’s possible, viable, or more importantly HEALTHY! There is no need to hang on to this………let go and you will be all the better for doing so. Accept the fact that it is truly done, over, finished, the fat lady sang and caught her flight out of town. Now relax and take a big deep breath.
Get back to the gym, read a good book, have a day at the spa, spin your favorite tunes, buy a new outfit, do whatever makes you feel good. Focus on all the positive things you have in your life and CHOOSE to put yourself in positive situations and around positive people. I should add that his circle of friends or stomping grounds is NOT included in any of those options.
A few parting words of caution, don’t be quick to jump into another relationship. Explore what it is that you truly want for yourself and don’t settle for anything less. Dream BIG!!! And when you do start looking for that special "someone" again, make sure that they love you for ALL the wonderful things you have to offer. Good luck and stay well.
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