Comments on: How long does it take to get over a break up? http://www.stoppainofbreakup.com/blog/dating-again-starting-over/how-long-does-it-take-to-get-over-a-break-up YOU CAN GET THROUGH THIS, YOU WILL BE OKAY, AND YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Wed, 07 Jul 2010 05:13:59 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.6 hourly 1 By: Steve http://www.stoppainofbreakup.com/blog/dating-again-starting-over/how-long-does-it-take-to-get-over-a-break-up/comment-page-1#comment-5026 Steve Mon, 11 Jan 2010 02:14:59 +0000 http://www.stoppainofbreakup.com/blog/dating-again-starting-over/how-long-does-it-take-to-get-over-a-break-up#comment-5026 It is very individualized (the length of time it will take). This probably was the first really significant relationship and subsequent loss you have experienced. Everyone has one of those... then they learn to hold back something of themselves to regenerate from after that. Rather than putting there entire heart and soul on the line. It really can be devastating. There are so many variables that can make this worse. Knowing and participating fully with your significant's family and joint friends. Sharing some very unique and special things together..."the first times for" list (ie sex). Going to some very special locations that are once in a life time experiences can keep memories alive for ever. Certain music and movies. That person can be tangled with all of those types of things and make it very hard to deal with at times. When you really have blended your feelings and experiences with someone (especially at a younger age or for a relatively long time for your age) it can be your own personal hell. If they have gone on to be with someone else... or have dumped you to be with another person... that can constitute a major psychic injury. In those cases... if it can not be shaken and is getting worse professional help might have to be sought. These people get a real weird twist to the whole thing... stalking, having fits of anger, ruminating the loss over and over, incompacitating depression, inability to focus or take responsibility... those are serious things that have to be looked at professionally. If you are just getting hints or short runs of that...do not buy into it and avoid going there... it is pathological. Don't make matters worse...going in that direction that is not the answer. The best thing is to not focus on yourself... but, try to stay busy and focus on others that could use you help... be loving to others in a different way... like grandparents, getting wrapped up in a new hobby. Join some type of groups or clubs that have meetings with others. Like a camping/hiking club, etc., etc.. I think the fact that she treated you like crap for the last 4 months kind of did something to you... you probably thought since you took all that crap you earned the right to be fully loved and respected as a reward for your tolerance (demonstrating unconditional love for her). Well, it doesn't work that way and certainly isn't fair. From what you have hinted at... I think she might have had some serious personality flaws. I think she stomped on your heart and brain... and you really will not be able to make sense of it. You have to learn to crawl away from what constitued an abusive relationship. Just learn to draw some boundaries in future relationships... be sure you or others do not go over them until you are damn sure it is really safe. I really do appreciate your pain... Good Luck!<br><b>References : </b><br>been there before! It is very individualized (the length of time it will take). This probably was the first really significant relationship and subsequent loss you have experienced. Everyone has one of those… then they learn to hold back something of themselves to regenerate from after that. Rather than putting there entire heart and soul on the line.

It really can be devastating. There are so many variables that can make this worse. Knowing and participating fully with your significant’s family and joint friends. Sharing some very unique and special things together…"the first times for" list (ie sex). Going to some very special locations that are once in a life time experiences can keep memories alive for ever. Certain music and movies. That person can be tangled with all of those types of things and make it very hard to deal with at times. When you really have blended your feelings and experiences with someone (especially at a younger age or for a relatively long time for your age) it can be your own personal hell.

If they have gone on to be with someone else… or have dumped you to be with another person… that can constitute a major psychic injury. In those cases… if it can not be shaken and is getting worse professional help might have to be sought. These people get a real weird twist to the whole thing… stalking, having fits of anger, ruminating the loss over and over, incompacitating depression, inability to focus or take responsibility… those are serious things that have to be looked at professionally. If you are just getting hints or short runs of that…do not buy into it and avoid going there… it is pathological. Don’t make matters worse…going in that direction that is not the answer.

The best thing is to not focus on yourself… but, try to stay busy and focus on others that could use you help… be loving to others in a different way… like grandparents, getting wrapped up in a new hobby. Join some type of groups or clubs that have meetings with others. Like a camping/hiking club, etc., etc..

I think the fact that she treated you like crap for the last 4 months kind of did something to you… you probably thought since you took all that crap you earned the right to be fully loved and respected as a reward for your tolerance (demonstrating unconditional love for her). Well, it doesn’t work that way and certainly isn’t fair. From what you have hinted at… I think she might have had some serious personality flaws. I think she stomped on your heart and brain… and you really will not be able to make sense of it. You have to learn to crawl away from what constitued an abusive relationship. Just learn to draw some boundaries in future relationships… be sure you or others do not go over them until you are damn sure it is really safe.

I really do appreciate your pain… Good Luck!
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been there before!

]]> By: mickeys in love http://www.stoppainofbreakup.com/blog/dating-again-starting-over/how-long-does-it-take-to-get-over-a-break-up/comment-page-1#comment-5025 mickeys in love Mon, 11 Jan 2010 02:01:59 +0000 http://www.stoppainofbreakup.com/blog/dating-again-starting-over/how-long-does-it-take-to-get-over-a-break-up#comment-5025 32 YEARS AND STILL COUNTING<br><b>References : </b><br> 32 YEARS AND STILL COUNTING
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]]> By: sxygirl http://www.stoppainofbreakup.com/blog/dating-again-starting-over/how-long-does-it-take-to-get-over-a-break-up/comment-page-1#comment-5024 sxygirl Mon, 11 Jan 2010 01:44:59 +0000 http://www.stoppainofbreakup.com/blog/dating-again-starting-over/how-long-does-it-take-to-get-over-a-break-up#comment-5024 well it depends if you really did love her?? you may think you still cant move on but you may just be holding onto the hatred you felt towards her so that you dont have to move on and put yourself in a situation where another girl can treat you that same way again. complicated but very likely. when im hurt by someone i hold on to the hurt so long and push any one else away and i know when i really sit and think about it that i do it so that i dont get hurt again. i mean i cant get hurt if i dont get close to someone new right? and the easiest way not to get close is to think they're all just the same its gonna happen all ova again and so in turn im really hurting myself cause i end up angry and alone and missing other ppls company. decide that you miss her but you dont want to dwell on it any longer and see some friends, get out, go clubbing, movies whatever and keep it up and let other girls in just enough to be friends and in time you'll find you've moved on without even noticing. she may always have a special place in ur heart but u need to decide not to let her ruin the rest of your life. you deserve to be happy and have friends and a girlfriend who care for you but to have that you have to let them in xx be happy it attracts lots of people, be confident and have fun and dont think about when it will happen it just will :)<br><b>References : </b><br> well it depends if you really did love her??
you may think you still cant move on but you may just be holding onto the hatred you felt towards her so that you dont have to move on and put yourself in a situation where another girl can treat you that same way again.
complicated but very likely.
when im hurt by someone i hold on to the hurt so long and push any one else away and i know when i really sit and think about it that i do it so that i dont get hurt again. i mean i cant get hurt if i dont get close to someone new right? and the easiest way not to get close is to think they’re all just the same its gonna happen all ova again and so in turn im really hurting myself cause i end up angry and alone and missing other ppls company.
decide that you miss her but you dont want to dwell on it any longer and see some friends, get out, go clubbing, movies whatever and keep it up and let other girls in just enough to be friends and in time you’ll find you’ve moved on without even noticing.
she may always have a special place in ur heart but u need to decide not to let her ruin the rest of your life.
you deserve to be happy and have friends and a girlfriend who care for you but to have that you have to let them in xx be happy it attracts lots of people, be confident and have fun and dont think about when it will happen it just will :)
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]]> By: Dean_Ackles http://www.stoppainofbreakup.com/blog/dating-again-starting-over/how-long-does-it-take-to-get-over-a-break-up/comment-page-1#comment-5023 Dean_Ackles Mon, 11 Jan 2010 00:58:59 +0000 http://www.stoppainofbreakup.com/blog/dating-again-starting-over/how-long-does-it-take-to-get-over-a-break-up#comment-5023 How long it takes for anyone to get over someone is a combination of three things: 1) Your resilience 2) The length of your relationship 3) How much you loved him/her Unfortunately there is not a lot you can do about your feelings. What could help though: * Toss out ANYTHING that Ash gave you (if it's fairly valuable (like, money-wise), sell it or give it to a friend) * Delete all contact details of Ash * If you're still talking to her, obvious don't! * Every time good memories come back to make life harder- remember WHY you broke up in the first place Good luck, and I hope you can move on!<br><b>References : </b><br> How long it takes for anyone to get over someone is a combination of three things:

1) Your resilience
2) The length of your relationship
3) How much you loved him/her

Unfortunately there is not a lot you can do about your feelings. What could help though:

* Toss out ANYTHING that Ash gave you (if it’s fairly valuable (like, money-wise), sell it or give it to a friend)
* Delete all contact details of Ash
* If you’re still talking to her, obvious don’t!
* Every time good memories come back to make life harder- remember WHY you broke up in the first place

Good luck, and I hope you can move on!
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]]> By: candis65l http://www.stoppainofbreakup.com/blog/dating-again-starting-over/how-long-does-it-take-to-get-over-a-break-up/comment-page-1#comment-5022 candis65l Mon, 11 Jan 2010 00:31:59 +0000 http://www.stoppainofbreakup.com/blog/dating-again-starting-over/how-long-does-it-take-to-get-over-a-break-up#comment-5022 If you sit around and mope it will take a long time but if you get up and go do things...anything...well, except for stalking her..ha...then it will be over with faster.<br><b>References : </b><br> If you sit around and mope it will take a long time but if you get up and go do things…anything…well, except for stalking her..ha…then it will be over with faster.
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]]> By: Corrupted Vodka http://www.stoppainofbreakup.com/blog/dating-again-starting-over/how-long-does-it-take-to-get-over-a-break-up/comment-page-1#comment-5021 Corrupted Vodka Mon, 11 Jan 2010 00:25:59 +0000 http://www.stoppainofbreakup.com/blog/dating-again-starting-over/how-long-does-it-take-to-get-over-a-break-up#comment-5021 it's up to you to decide if you're going to be over it or not.<br><b>References : </b><br> it’s up to you to decide if you’re going to be over it or not.
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]]> By: Delina o http://www.stoppainofbreakup.com/blog/dating-again-starting-over/how-long-does-it-take-to-get-over-a-break-up/comment-page-1#comment-5020 Delina o Mon, 11 Jan 2010 00:20:59 +0000 http://www.stoppainofbreakup.com/blog/dating-again-starting-over/how-long-does-it-take-to-get-over-a-break-up#comment-5020 probably as long as you want it or until you get a new babe in your life<br><b>References : </b><br> probably as long as you want it
or until you get a new babe in your life
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]]> By: Mike965 http://www.stoppainofbreakup.com/blog/dating-again-starting-over/how-long-does-it-take-to-get-over-a-break-up/comment-page-1#comment-5019 Mike965 Sun, 10 Jan 2010 23:37:59 +0000 http://www.stoppainofbreakup.com/blog/dating-again-starting-over/how-long-does-it-take-to-get-over-a-break-up#comment-5019 The fastest way to get over someone is to find someone new or at least find a hobby to keep your mind occupied<br><b>References : </b><br> The fastest way to get over someone is to find someone new or at least find a hobby to keep your mind occupied
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]]> By: Cody W http://www.stoppainofbreakup.com/blog/dating-again-starting-over/how-long-does-it-take-to-get-over-a-break-up/comment-page-1#comment-5018 Cody W Sun, 10 Jan 2010 23:25:59 +0000 http://www.stoppainofbreakup.com/blog/dating-again-starting-over/how-long-does-it-take-to-get-over-a-break-up#comment-5018 68 years<br><b>References : </b><br>my hamstr 68 years
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my hamstr

]]> By: lady.wooster http://www.stoppainofbreakup.com/blog/dating-again-starting-over/how-long-does-it-take-to-get-over-a-break-up/comment-page-1#comment-5017 lady.wooster Sun, 10 Jan 2010 23:03:59 +0000 http://www.stoppainofbreakup.com/blog/dating-again-starting-over/how-long-does-it-take-to-get-over-a-break-up#comment-5017 you dont just get into another one real quick and have lots of sex best thing i can recommend<br><b>References : </b><br> you dont just get into another one real quick and have lots of sex best thing i can recommend
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