Archive for the ‘Dating Again Starting Over’ Category
Sunday, January 17th, 2010
I was in a relationship for almost 4 years with another girl (I’m a girl too). We started dating in high school and she broke up with me about 3 months ago.
We spent just about every single day together. For hours and hours. I was extremely emotionally dependent on her. I was the happiest I could ever be with her.
My entire family knew that I was in a same-sex relationship, but only four people in her family knew about us. She told me as soon as we decided to be a couple that we’d have to eventually break up cause there was no way she could ever tell her parents about me and because it was against her religion. I ignored it, because as time went on and I fell more in love with her, I honestly felt I could end up changing her mind and we’d be together forever.
Long story short, I didn’t win the fight against religion. She ended breaking up with me cause she didn’t want to keep dragging me along.
I’m super depressed. I’m taking mood balancing pills. I understand that she didn’t want to hurt me anymore, but I’m still angry that she did it. I’m angry that she couldn’t stand up for who she loved. I’m angry that I’m pretty much forced to live with what she wants and not what I want.
I’m just extremely angry and I want her back. I know there’s no way its ever going to happen.
We still text every here and there. We talked about it and we aren’t going to just stop texting. We’re going to wait until it eventually happens. She’s moving away within two weeks and even though I haven’t seen her, it’s still going to have a huge affect on me.
I need to learn how to get over her. I’m too weak to stop talking to her all together so there’s no chance of me doing that unless she forces it upon me. I also want to learn how to be happy for her.
She did what’s best for both of us …. I guess. I hate her for hurting me, but I still love her. Please help me quick.
I don’t want any replies about how I shouldn’t have gotten with her in the first place. I know its my fault. And I don’t want anyone saying anything rude about her.
It happened and now I want to learn how to get over it.
I don’t think I’d be able to answer your question properly because i’ve never had to deal with it before but it seems you need some help so you should go on datingreform. It’s a site that my friends use where people from anywhere in the world can go and post their own advice regarding dating and relationships for other people such as yourself to read. Not to mention they’re even having a contest where whoever gives the most help/posts the most articles gets $500. I’m sure someone there will be able to help you. The site again is datingreform.c o m
Technorati Tags: break
Sunday, January 17th, 2010
We broke up 4 days ago under mutual agreement. Ever since then the pain was so unbearable and I find it hard to breath. I talked to my ex saying I want to see him, he agreed. Now we still see each other everyday, actually I still live in his house everyday for the past 2 days. But we are together only as friends. Before we lived together, so now when I can’t see him, I feel absolutely painful to the extent I can’t stand it. But when I live in his house and think we are no longer bf/gf, I still feel very painful although less. I don’t know how to ease the pain. Should I just be strong and cut all the ties or should I still be friends with him to make the breakup easier, but i don’t know if it can help or make it harder for me.
I’ve been in a similar situation, and trust me, the more time you spend together now, the more it will hurt and make it harder for you to recover. You need to definitely cut ties for now, and then maybe in a few months time make contact again and see how it goes. I cut ties with my ex and now it’s been much easier to move on and be happy again. Time heals all wounds.
Technorati Tags: broke, cut, hang, pain, ties, unbearable, usual
Wednesday, January 13th, 2010
I got out of a bad relationship a few months ago. And finally I’m ready to start dating again, but I feel ridiculous. It feels like, ".. What should I be doing?" or "I haven’t dated in like 9 months, I feel so out of the loop."
After you heal enough from a break up to totally move on from it, how do you get back into dating? I know it’s simple, but it’s also complicated and scary for me because I went through such a hard break up.
with you having to ask, maybe you’re not ready
don’t force a social life, it’ll make it all the more awkward when trying to approach people
just get out…enjoy yourself
you have to make yourself happy, before even attempting to make someone else happy
Technorati Tags: break, phase
Wednesday, January 13th, 2010
I am going through a breakup. I’m trying to stay busy, make plans, call friends, watch funny movies, exercise, etc. But I still have this overwhelming feeling like my chest in caving in and the walls around me are closing in on me.How can I ease this pain and make these feelings go away? I can’t stand the idea of having to come to my empty house and be alone. That is when the bad feelings are the worse. I know I have to keep busy, but I also want to be able to be at my house alone and not feel this terrible pain. Please any advice will help! Thank you.
Do things that you could not do when he was there. Reclaim your space!
I know that this is a cliche but breaking up can be a new beginning and being alone allows you to learn more about yourself and prepares you for the next love, when it’s time.
Technorati Tags: breakup, closing, feeling, stop, walls
Sunday, January 10th, 2010
Hi
I was with ash 9 months broke up 3 months ago and still not over her. How long will it take i hate her she treated me like crap the last 4 months we was together and lied i loved her soooooo much and now im all alone:( How long will it take to get better?
It is very individualized (the length of time it will take). This probably was the first really significant relationship and subsequent loss you have experienced. Everyone has one of those… then they learn to hold back something of themselves to regenerate from after that. Rather than putting there entire heart and soul on the line.
It really can be devastating. There are so many variables that can make this worse. Knowing and participating fully with your significant’s family and joint friends. Sharing some very unique and special things together…"the first times for" list (ie sex). Going to some very special locations that are once in a life time experiences can keep memories alive for ever. Certain music and movies. That person can be tangled with all of those types of things and make it very hard to deal with at times. When you really have blended your feelings and experiences with someone (especially at a younger age or for a relatively long time for your age) it can be your own personal hell.
If they have gone on to be with someone else… or have dumped you to be with another person… that can constitute a major psychic injury. In those cases… if it can not be shaken and is getting worse professional help might have to be sought. These people get a real weird twist to the whole thing… stalking, having fits of anger, ruminating the loss over and over, incompacitating depression, inability to focus or take responsibility… those are serious things that have to be looked at professionally. If you are just getting hints or short runs of that…do not buy into it and avoid going there… it is pathological. Don’t make matters worse…going in that direction that is not the answer.
The best thing is to not focus on yourself… but, try to stay busy and focus on others that could use you help… be loving to others in a different way… like grandparents, getting wrapped up in a new hobby. Join some type of groups or clubs that have meetings with others. Like a camping/hiking club, etc., etc..
I think the fact that she treated you like crap for the last 4 months kind of did something to you… you probably thought since you took all that crap you earned the right to be fully loved and respected as a reward for your tolerance (demonstrating unconditional love for her). Well, it doesn’t work that way and certainly isn’t fair. From what you have hinted at… I think she might have had some serious personality flaws. I think she stomped on your heart and brain… and you really will not be able to make sense of it. You have to learn to crawl away from what constitued an abusive relationship. Just learn to draw some boundaries in future relationships… be sure you or others do not go over them until you are damn sure it is really safe.
I really do appreciate your pain… Good Luck!
Technorati Tags: break, long
Sunday, January 10th, 2010
I have been with my bf for 3 years and we just broke up. It was my idea to end the relationship cause he couldn’t comit. Now I really feel bad cause I still care about him. Any ideas to ease the pain
It’s just one of those poopy parts of life. You made a decision and you’ve got to live with it. The fact that you feel bad tells me that you’re a pretty sweet girl, and you probably deserve better than a guy that could be with you for 3 yeas and still not commit. If you want to meet a new guy in the near future, I’d suggest going to a coffee shop or a bar or something along those lines, depending on what your preference is, and see what you can find. Be patient, and eventually you’ll find one for yourself! Don’t be afraid to be selective and find the one that you really want, that’s going to be able to give you the care and attention you really deserve….and that will be able to commit to you. Good Luck!
Technorati Tags: breakup
Thursday, January 7th, 2010
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Technorati Tags: watch
Thursday, January 7th, 2010
I just broke up with this guy that I really liked and all I’ve been doing is stuffing my face with Ben&Jerry’s butter pecan ice cream… to make matters worse, now the B&J is buy one get one free. I’ve gained 3 pounds =[ How do you get over a bad break up?
When it happened to me I decided to sleep with as many women as possible.
2 years later I’m STILL not over her but I’m damn sure having a lot of fun!
Technorati Tags: bad, break
Thursday, January 7th, 2010
RIGHT NOW! What can I do to ease the pain of a horrible breakup. I am completelty devastated and i cant eat or sleep. I am at work now but I keep my eyes keep tearing up. What can I do RIGHT NOW to ease the pain even if it only eases it for a couple of minutes. Please have compassion for me. I am so suffering right now. I hurts so much because I love him soooo much!
U POOR GIRL LOVE I NO HOW U FEEL, BUT U NEED TO SPEND TIME WITH UR GIRLFRIEND AND HAVE GIRL FRIEND QUALITY TIME THERE IS NOTHING BETTER THAN SPENDING TIME WITH GF, DON’T WATCH ROMANTIC MOVIES CAUSE THAT MAKE U FEEL SADER. KEEP BUSY. RING UR GF AND MAKE PLANS BUT WHEN U R OUT WITH UR GF U MEANT2 HAVE A GOOD TIME SO DON’T TALK ABOUT UR EX A LOT. ITS GOOD TO TALK ABOUT IT TO GET IT OFF UR CHEST BUT DO IT AT THE BEGAINNING OF THE OUTING FOR THE REST OF IT ENJOY IT WITH YOUR GF HAVING SOME GIRLY FUN. THINGS WILL GET BETTER, YOU MIGHT NOT THINK IT WOULD RITE NOW BUT TRUST ME IT WILL. TIME HEALS ALL WOUNDS. I NO AS I HAVE BEEN THERE. IF U WANT 2 GET BACK WITH UR BF I THINK U SHOULD WAIT 4 SEVERAL WEEKS AND HAVE FUN WITH UR GF FOR NOW AND C HOW THINGS GO AND C HOW U FEEL, U MIGHT FIND THAT AFTER SPENDING TIME AWAY AND SPENDING TIME WITH UR GF U MIGHT NOT WANT HIM BACK, OR HE MIGHT WANT U BACK CAUSE HE MISS U A LOT. BUT DON’T HOLD ON TO THAT THOUGHT. OK. BUT ENJOY THIS TIME WITH THE GIRLS
Technorati Tags: ease, pain
Monday, January 4th, 2010
But then you did and you were happier than ever? How long did it take to get over the break up? How long had you been together?
YES!!! Especially after my first love because we had been together 3 yrs & had a child. We even talked about getting married. I can’t exactly remember how long to get over him but I’m happier than ever now.
Technorati Tags: break, destroyed, meet, thought
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