Stop the Pain of Break Up NOW Before It's Too Late!

I had so many fake friends in my life who I don’t talk to anymore. I haven’t found it in my heart to forgive them (and I don’t think I ever will, honestly.) They hurt me really bad, betrayed me and backstabbed me. I still can’t help but wonder why they treated me that way. These are girls who I never want to see again and I want to move on, but I just can’t.

What’s the best way to move on?

Being backstabbed can hurt, but the best way to react is to disassociate yourself from these people and hang with people who will impact you positively and help you move on.

It’s been about 2 weeks since my ex and I broke up and I have been seeking for answers this whole time. She broke things off because she felt like she needed to get done with school and couldn’t handle the pressures of a relationship at the moment. We are 21 and 22.

The first night she texted me saying how she wish it wasn’t this way and that she loves me and just wants to be with me.

However, the next few days it turns into her leaving because of me and her locking up and becoming cold and defensive. All of a sudden I see the whole "school and relationship stress" as an easy exit from me – a way she won’t feel as guilty about.

Now my problem is I don’t know how to bring this up to her without her becoming SUPER defensive. All she says is that "it is what is is. stop bugging me." Its turned into me being the reason she broke up. So I am a bit lost.

I understand she has been through a lot in life and I really haven’t so she says she doesn’t have the patience for me
to become a "man" and grow up. Even though she was happy with me and I was "everything she ever wanted in her life."

I had some growing up to do and wasn’t very experienced in the dating world and in general life but I wasn’t a complete idiot about everything. She thinks she needs more of a "man" than me but what I saw with her through the year we were together is that she is EXTREMELY hard to please. She’s never satisfied and so I need some help laying this out to her in an upfront way without causing drama.

I need to get this off my chest. She is such a defensive mean person though that I don’t know what to do. She is going to call me today to talk about things but I just am now "afraid" of being upfront with her because I know what will happen she will just shoot me down and get defensive.

I need closure in this thing and I need to get this stuff off of my chest.

She sounds alot like my ex.. I tell you from experience.. let her go.. She will become someone elses problem. You really do not need answers because it sounds like you know the answer already.. She is INSANE!! Even if she wanted to break away.. she doesn’t have to be mean or defensive.. trust me.. save your energy.. you will never win with this person no matter how hard you try or how right you are. Please listen.. I have been there… let her go!!!

Technorati Tags: break, closure, relationship

For some reason when i tell too much about myself to a date when they ask a question, it’s a turn off..why is that? Is it important to learn how much to give away at what time?
like i’ve given away personal info about rough childhood on a first date..it seems to scare them?
but i mean is it natural or do you guys also think to yourselves…"i shouldn’t tell them this much yet"

yeah because you don’t want to be boring and talk forever about the same thing. but it’s better than having nothing to say, that’s way more awkward.

well, maybe your rough childhood is too much of a serious subject and tends to be a downer on a date that’s supposed to be happy. i personally love hearing about people’s childhoods and wouldn’t mind listening to stories, even if they’re rough, but everyone is different, maybe it’s an uncomfortable thing to listen to for some people.

Technorati Tags: control, date, give, important, learn, survey

OKAY you asked, First you have to talk, to expalin, you want to submit to him, his will his desires, you will stop the whining and moaning. O to completion whenever and wherever he wants, A the same outdoor stuff, public, webcam stuff.. as far and wide as he wants. you just need him in your life and that means the weight will come off, tone up and he will never hear the word NO from your lips xx I promise you this is the answer. but no doubdt the Religious, puritan single lonley bitter and repressed on here will tell you differently.but rememebr these words as this is the TRUTH

Technorati Tags: divorce, experience, marriage, save, stop

Well, looks like I am (will be) single very soon. I heard of people going online to yahoo personals and other sites and meeting people, even marrying somebody they find online. What is your opinion on dating people off the internet?

I have to admit that I disagree with Rake on a few issues…first of all, he addresses that WOMEN need to be honest about their physical appearances, etc., but I think MEN need to too! Many of the older guys lie about their age, or use pictures of themselves from the 80’s or 90’s when they were young studs…or the bald guys tend to wear ball caps in their pics.

But here’s the thing I think about–I think its a great way for busy professionals who are looking for someone to date (or possibly marry if that’s what they are looking for) and you can "look" when its convenient for you, you don’t have to hang out at smokey bars, etc., and I do think that you should go into with an open mind that if nothing less, you could end up with a friend. Expecting "Mr. Right" will only lead you to disappointment. Keep your mind and heart open…what have you got to lose? And what if it was destiny that you were suppose to meet someone online…so just take the chance!

If there is one thing I’ve learned about life, its that NOTHING is guaranteed!

Technorati Tags: finding, Love, luck, Online, singles

work place romance
I’ve fallen for girl from work she felt the same way. we seem to hit it off until just yesterday .i start avoiding her she was so mad at me i felt like an azz hole. the experienced from the past haunted me .I felt romance and business don’t mix together it was heart breaking experience that made me avoid her. am i afraid to get hurt again or just a coward? what’s wrong with me?

Work place romance is not ideal. It’s better if you find someone that you don’t work with.

Technorati Tags: afraid, falling, hurt, Love, workbut

I just broke up with a guy I was dating for 6 months, even though we both knew that we weren’t right for each other, and that the relationship should have ended sooner. What kept us there was a strong physical attraction, but we weren’t really that compatible otherwise. Ultimately, I ended it. I tried to do it in person, but he wasn’t receptive to it, so I did it by email. That ended in a blood bath. Apologies were made, but it left me wounded, and I don’t think it was good for either of us. Any suggestions on how to right this wrong, and leave the relationship on a good note?

Breaking up with someone is never easy, even under the very BEST circumstances. It sounds to me like you’ve already done the hard parts (admitting that a purely a physical attraction DOES NOT make a relationship and ultimately ending it).

Now you have to fully come to terms with what has happened. You said in your post that you’ve been wounded by this experience……why do you feel it is so important to leave things on a "good note". Someone who REALLY cares about you- even if it didn’t work out- would NEVER purposefully or knowingly wound you. It sounds to me like you would like to preserve a friendship of sorts with this person…….I don’t think it’s possible, viable, or more importantly HEALTHY! There is no need to hang on to this………let go and you will be all the better for doing so. Accept the fact that it is truly done, over, finished, the fat lady sang and caught her flight out of town. Now relax and take a big deep breath.

Get back to the gym, read a good book, have a day at the spa, spin your favorite tunes, buy a new outfit, do whatever makes you feel good. Focus on all the positive things you have in your life and CHOOSE to put yourself in positive situations and around positive people. I should add that his circle of friends or stomping grounds is NOT included in any of those options.

A few parting words of caution, don’t be quick to jump into another relationship. Explore what it is that you truly want for yourself and don’t settle for anything less. Dream BIG!!! And when you do start looking for that special "someone" again, make sure that they love you for ALL the wonderful things you have to offer. Good luck and stay well.

Technorati Tags: bad, break, recovering, suggestions

I don’t mean hanging out in bars/clubs/pubs. I’m not into drinking/smoking/drugs… Where do you suggest I should go meet men who wants a committed relationship? Serious answer seeking. Thanks

church

Technorati Tags: decent, kind, meet, men, toronto

I met a wonderful guy about a month ago. I was going through a divorce with my husband and he was going thru a divorce (his wife cheated). We spoke on the phone a few times and hung out about three times. All of his friends and family know how much he wants a divorce but have asked him to wait a few months because his wife is pregnant and they didn’t want her getting upset and running off with the baby. Our relationship was very innocent. I tried not to get too close to him. His wife really hurt him by sleeping with his best friend and I didn’t want to be the rebound so we remained friends. I kept my distance. And I’ve never let him think I cared much about him even though I did. When I found myself becoming more and more attached to him, I’d pull away. Basically, I sent him a lot of mixed signals. Recently, his wife found out he was talking to someone. He called me a few days after that and said he’d call me back when things cooled off. A day later he calls and gets upset at me for calling him on his wife’s cell phone. I got really upset and accused him of calling me “stupid”. I would never do such a thing and I don’t even know his wife’s phone number. Although, I think she was playing some kind of trick on him. Anyway, I haven’t heard from him after that. I was so upset at our last conversation, so when he said he’d call me again sometime, I brushed him off. It’s been a few weeks now and I’m feeling really shitty. I’m not sure what to do. I feel like I need some closure. If I’m never going to see or speak to him again, I wish I could just say goodbye and that I’m sorry for getting involved. I care deeply about him and I just want him to be happy. Do I call him and wish him a good life or just move on and try to forget?

I wouldnt bother.
he also has sent you mixed signals, getting divorced but doesnt want to rock the boat etc…
then she getting moody cos of your friendship whilst pregnant, getting a divorce and cheating!

Id say you’re better off out of it….. they seem to be using other people just to score points off each other.

If it is just a bad time and a mixed bag then he may just get in contact in the future when his feelings are no longer raw.
You dont need to be dragged into their dirty washing.

Technorati Tags: closure, find, forget, move

Me and my ex broke up 8 months ago. I took him for granted and caused pointless arguments. I know you always see 20/20 looking back and im still so mad at myself. I dont know why I treated him like that. I still care about him and miss him but he’d be crazy to wanna talk to me…What can I do? I tried talking to him a month after our break up, he said he wants nothing to do with me, but his friends say he still mentions me….Should I try again. Id like to get some closure even if i dont deserve it.

I think that the best thing you can do is write him a letter. (and make sure that he gets it) Let him know that you are sorry for how you treated him and that if you could undo it you would. Tell him that you still care about (or love) him and miss him very much, but that you hope life is treating him well.

If you have done anything major that has brought a positive change in you, let him know. Like if you have learned to take more responsibility for your own actions or have a new friend that has taught you to be kinder.

That’s about all you can do. A note he can read in his own time – when he is ready. It gives you the chance to say that you are sorry and to let him know how/if you have changed. From there, it’s up to him.

I hope that things go well for both of y’all. And if nothing else, perhaps your mistakes with him will be a learning experience that help you remember to treat your next man better.

Technorati Tags: closure