Stop the Pain of Break Up NOW Before It's Too Late!

I had lived with my ex finace’ and it was a very difficult time for me. He is a major multi -millionare and and is very use to getting his way. He supported me while we moved somewhere warm for the winter so I wouldnt have to work and it was his idea, I am a business woman and had a good job I didnt like at the time so I decided what the heck. When he got to our destination he expressed he expected me to be a housewife and he has never done a load of laundry in his life; had I known that we would have talked ahead of time and probably wouldnt have agreed. I did not realize this was going to be my role, not that there is anything wrong with being a housewife I just never have had experience and I was thrown into the fire; until I got to our destination and he was complaining that I was not cooking and cleaning enough for him. I really tried.

I had Hep "c" and he demanded I get it treated because it was making me lethargic and I couldn’t do enough; he basically was abusive about it. The good thing is I got it treated, but he left me in the beginning of the treatments because he thought that I did not do enough for the relationship and didn’t tell him how great he is all the time. He was abusive and never apologized for anything; gave me 30 rules to follow and told me unless I shaped up he was leaving. We were engaged and he would say, once this would happen or that; I would be a keeper. I guess I didn’t shape up and it was very stressful for me. I started to really dislike him and gave him back his very expensive ring.

The minute it ended he met someone else and basically couldn’t have cared less about me; this is after him telling me how much he loved me, went to counseling, blah, blah, blah the week earlier. He literally told me he was over it within no time and didn’t love me anymore and hadn’t for months; it was very cold. He has been insanely cold, however, I don’t think he is doing to hurt me which is worse because I really think he just doesn’t think about our ending an engagment, me and he is on to the next. This, however, was very embarrassing and hurtful for me to end an announced engagement and realize he couldn’t care less really; it feels like a met the master manipulator with no real soul. I am not a doctor, but I suspect he is a full blown narcissist.

I have these reoccuring nightmares where I interact with him and he just couldn’t care less; I wake up anxious, upset and really nervous. I do not know how to stop them and why I keep having them; we have been broken up for 6 months. We have had some interactions over money that have been very abusive and are ending really soon, for the last 5 months I report to him like he is the unemployment office while looking for a job. He just humilates me and I keep having dreams about it??? It is driving me crazy and want them to stop, it is like reliving it every time! How can you get dreams to stop; it is very painful and scarey every time!

You need psychiatric intervention and maybe some medication.

Like the famous song, breaking up is hard to do, sometimes. If you want to break the news in a creative way, here are a few ways to break up with someone.

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My ex broke up with me 3 wks ago and he called me on July the 4th to wish me a happy 4th. We talked for 2hrs and said will always love each other etc. (both at end). He moved 1.5hrs away while we were dating and said he may be in town soon. He sent an email today that he will likely be here Monday. Should I meet or is it too early for us? Why does a man want to be friends with his ex?

he still misses you and if you still like him go. the only way you will know is if you go to meet him. dont listen to these bozos say something they know none of us know how he feels your gonna have to find out your self

http://vitalcoaching.com/datingforwomen.htm
How to find a man online – Internet dating – A dating site is like a cafe or a club, some are nice, some are not – Signup for a few dating sites – See dating sites as a training ground for your dating skills – Keep it simple, playful, sexy, flirty and light! – Practice network dating – Go deeper with the guys you are really attracted to

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shallow

WE HAVE BEEN DATING FOR 4 MONTHS….I FEEL NO CONNECTION WITH HIM, AND IN THE PAST I HAVE TRYED TO BREAK UP WITH HIM HE CUT HIS WRISTS, HE TELLS ME HE LOVES ME BUT HE SHOWS NO AFFECTION TWORDS ME, ITS BASICALLY JUST A POINTLESS RELATIONSHIP… AND HE LIVES WITH ME! I NEED STEP BY STEP HOW TO DO THIS SO HE DOSE NOT HURT ME OR HIS SELF! PLEASE HELP I NEED HIM OUT ASAP! THANKS FOR THOSE WHO GIVE ME GOOD….SERIOUS ANSWERS!

First of all, let me express my agreement with most of the comments
you received so far. I applaud your determination to end this
unhealthy relationship, and understand why it is so hard to do it.

Let’s start with this episode of him banging his head against a wall
in order to "prevent" you for leaving him. As you must have already
figured, this doesn’t indicate a sound personality, but one that uses
all kinds of emotional extortions and blackmails its ways through
life. This is, and of course, I hope I am wrong, the perfect profile
of a future violent boyfriend/husband: if he can’t get what he wants,
he threatens to hurt himself and/or his partner. Discussion or retreat
is not an option, and having the partner is more important than
providing her with happiness or love. This is a person who should be
treated before he is dangerous to himself or others.

My first advice, is to estimate, if you think that he might do
something to himself (or worse, to you) after you break up. If so, I
suggest you’ll take several precautions:
- Let people know that you’re meeting.
- Meet in a public place – quiet cafe/restaurant, park – somewhere
where he could not pull off to many "shows" and scenes.
- Let some friend of him that you know and trust, know about it.
- If you really think he (or you) might be in physical harm, don’t
hesitate to get professionals involved. In most campuses there’s a
counsellor dealing with emotional abuse, like the one your boyfriend
puts you through. In every county, let it be the furthest and most
remote, there is some kind of helpline for abuse victims.
- Make sure that there is someone with you – close friend or family
member – afterwards, because it will be emotionally draining, and
might even be one of the most emotionally abusive events you’re going
to experience.
- Plan what you mean to say. Run in your head scenarios of his
possible reactions and your reactions to them. Don’t be caught off
guard.

However, having all these precautions don’t mean that you don’t have
to do it ASAP (I actually hope, that by the way you read it, you
already managed to break up with him …), and very clear. Don’t let
him interpret that as one of your other failed attempts to break up
with him. Don’t let him understand that it would be okay if he tried.
This type of guys would use it against you. I would suggest a cold
clear cut – "I don’t want to see you no more, only on
professional/faculty affairs", not something like "let’s stay
friends". It might seem easier to break up through an email, a phone
call or a letter, but that’s not fair. You have to face him and to be
clear about what you want to say.

I sense that you feel guilty leaving him, and don’t want to hurt him.
I’m afraid that it means that his emotional abuse is effective. Your
feelings, and you as a human being, should come above such
calculations. If you care about him, you should tell him exactly
what’s the problem with your relationships, which is more than just
"too much incompatibilities eg. personalities and thoughts" or even
that your "outgrew him". It his attempt to control you by putting you
in a position where you feel at unease not to do what he wants. You
could tell him, that if he really loves you, he should give you the
space you need, and not try to extort you emotionally into having him
back.

Think of your and his future. Do you see a future of the two of you
together? You said yourself that you’re staying with him only because
you’re afraid he’ll break apart if you don’t. However, if you stayed
with him, it wouldn’t stop. When he’ll finish his PhD, he’ll have
other pressures (finding a job after his graduation, for a start). I
guess you were just hoping it will die away, just like your liking for
him faded.

The period after the break-up was not mentioned by the commentators,
but it is very important that you’ll be in a supportive environment
right after the break-up. Hang around friends and family, volunteer
somewhere (I would say, I hope it is not too mean, in a shelter for
battered wives, so you’ll see where those who stayed with such men end
up), and do some sports, anything that would keep you from thinking
about how he handles the situation.

&hearts

All i was doing was talking to this girl that i know likes me and my gf knew that this girl likes me too. She thought i was flirting. I wasn’t flirting with this girl in any way. She just got p.o.ed at me just for texting. I have no interest in this girl whatsoever. Who is wrong here?

She is trying to make an excuse to break up with you because she doesn’t like you anymore.

i cant take this anymore, i love my boyfriend very much? im stressing out? should i call him or leave it alone?

call him and tell him you’re breaking up with him…then grieve and get over him. Find someone WAY better

6/2 Now What? (Luke 8:11-12) A new month and a new day of the encouraging word and video devotional with Minister Jeff Fannell, pastor of On Good Ground Christian Fellowship. To see past devotionals or for more info on the ministry, visit www.ongoodground.org Distributed by Tubemogul.

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I’m worried that she’ll start cutting herself regularly. I know a lot of answerers will advise me to just talk to her about it, but it’s not as simple as that.

I would really appreciate your advice though.

If you try to talk to her about it, she will just push you away. She will immediately assume that you’re going to make her stop, which is basically true. You need to gain her trust & wait for her to talk to you about it, but make sure you’re empathetic & listen to her.
She needs to decide to stop or she’ll probably start again later on if she’s forced to give up. Try to suggest stopping or cutting less often if she does it frequently. Make sure that she knows that you’ll always be there for her & you’ll always listen to her.
Suggest she does some exercise with you…. like walking/jogging, biking etc… exercise will help her feel more confident & take away alot of anger & frustration.
I guess that’s all the suggestions I’ve got. Sorry if they’re useless or anything but this technique’s working alot better for my bff than being marched into a councellor (I speak from experience)